Such A Let Down.....

Many sad things do happen in my life, and it is sad to say that i have to endure it but i am going to fall soon, very soon....I seems to be very devastated by it but there nothing i can do...I could only see and feel that bad things happen to me....I am sad but there nothing i can do to stop it...There nothing i can share my troubles with...But still i have to complete my o levels...Firstly, i am failing most of my common tests and my teachers asked me what had happened to me...I could only force a smile to them, but deep in my heart, it bleeds!!!!! I hate to admit that i am not doing well enough in my life but sometimes chances just slip away from you when you are unaware...No mood for me these days and i am trying to put my best act to make myself look cheerful and happy in front of my friends....Not only that this is making me sad...Todays is nafa test in sch....Very sad to get such results that is not even a silver award....I did 40 situps, 7 pull ups, 219cm for standing board jump, 10.3 for shuttle run, 44 for sit and reach and 12:10 for 2.4km run....Such lousy results for me... I could not believe it that i am this lousy...I always reckon myself that i will get aleast a gold or silver for nafa in this year but it seems that i failed and i felt discouraged....One more thing that my chinese teacher looked at my attitude of not concentrating in class, she scolded me many times in a row and finally she cried in front of me after scolding me....I felt my heart BLEEDING as i have bring such utter dissapointed to her....I could not believe it that she placed so much hopes on me and yet i am this kind of person.....I wanted to say a SORRY to her buti guess she wont be able to read my blog but in my heart she is a good teacher and it is just that such people like me do not know how to appreciate it much....I am very sad about this too.....Theres nothing i can do but to move on to the next step...One more thing is abt wushu... I only managed to got a top 10 in the inter sch wushu competitons 2011 but that does not mean i am happy wif that, i trained so hard and this is wat i got...I will not blamed anyone but only myslef....This are many more things that make me sad...I cant say it out anymore, it really hurts to type it all out...I do not have a person to hear my troubles and give me moral support...may it be anything, i just need a friend that could hear all my troubles out...