The Perfectionist

Now is already 1.20 am i the morning and here i am writing this post.... Today i did not do any workout, except for some arm curls and 100 push ups! Hahax, i felt that i have to reconstruct my workout program and ever since my o levels period, i start to lose keeping track of what i eat and even what i workout out... I failed to keep track of what i have been doing so far... All these had just gone to waste.... But first, i need to have a very very very good nutrition plan, and that serves as the biggest obstacle for me right now, i have no idea what to add in my diet plan, and most importantly, i do not have the money to but the stuff that i wanted... Poor guy i am , i such a poor state! i guess the reason why i have very minimal muscle growth is that i had very inconsistent workouts, my diet sucks, my rest time is way too insuffiecient, and i overtrain my self... Not to worry about my form in the workout, i made sure that my form is flawless even when i lift heavy without a spotter..... Actually my strenght increased through the years and now i could do more that 40 push ups in a min.... i can curl up to 25kg and can bench press 32kg..... Hahah but no one gives a fuck about that man!

I have been watching dream high 2 recently! I really cant denied that the show was fanastic and vey interesting... something keep me very inferior is that all the actresses or actor are very tall vene at the same age as me, damn why i feel so inferior, because i am so short, fuck the world man, why do you have to put me in such a position where i had no self confidence in facing ppl, worrying that i will fail to be the person that i wanna be in life.... Why, putting me in such a state that even i hate myself!!!!! Damn i must admit that i am a perfectionist, my the day that i was borned, i can gurantee my perfectionist mindset never leave me for a seconds.... In whatever i do, i will always shoot for the highest point, the peak.... Even when playing games, i will always asked what the most powerful thing or characterr in the game, it makes me wanna be the most strongest, but that is always just day dreaming for me....

I will see through it as it goes and i knew that i need to stay strong no matter what!