Tryin is good, but because of trying, failure is an option

Just back from a 6.5km jog which took me 28 minutes, damn i was damn lousy, i swear....partly because i so long never jog since from last year and now i suddenly start my jog routine to prepare myself for the 10km run on the 7th of july... Damn i need to prepare my self or else i am gonna fail the run, that would be the last thing i will do.... Apart of that i wanted to talk myself being a coward... Damn i dun even have the courage to do something.... Not to keep a secret that i actually have a soft spot for someone in my class, i am ashamed of that... when i thought of somethjng that wanted to do for her but at the end i did not do it for her... Before this week, i thought to myself that i wanted to celebrate her birthday wif her but at the end i am at home writing this blog post... I do not even have the guts to walk up to her now... I am sure of that... I think this is a one sided love, which pain me whenever i think of it... i hate this kind of feeling, but i had no choice... However if i am to be with her, i am sure to hurt her due to my past experiences and i feel i am not good enough for her... I have hurt ppl before and i do not wnat to aommit the offence.... I wanted to let her go but, eveytime when i see her, i could do that, i just wanted to keep her safe but everytime it is the ppl around her that keep her safe instead of me and that is the reason that why i said that i am a coward....no guts shit ass... For now, i got to concentrate all the major events that come in front of me... I cant let go what i am doing now before i lost everything and that is the point that i will go crazy.... About my sch studies, my grades improve realy really really alot.... Now i just got to hang in there, another few more weeks i will not see her alr.... when it comes to the last day of my year one life, i will definetely tell her... Something very awkward, even my friend has her number only me i dun have her number, this is something very wakward indeed...I like her but i have no guts to tell her or even even go near her....how long more will i have to wait till i go completely crazy???? I have not guts to tell her the truth even thought i know i will be rejected by her, i am very sure of that, that why the post title is trying is good but because of trying failure is an option.