Again & Again

Today is such an happening day for me, firstly when i went to sch, i met a person whom i contradicted to whether to say a hi anot. Seriously, alot of things have been going through me. I am thinking what if i say a HI , then she turned her head off. This will be leave me a awkard situation, i am thinking whether just to say a hi or another words just mind my own my buisiness. At the end of the day, i chose to ignore.... I could feel the awkard moment covered around me...... I was like wth!!! I relate this matter all to coincidence....anyway in my opinion, i cant imagine i say a HI to her and her reaction was like WTF, why is this unknown guy talking to me? Is he a pervert ; se lang!!!!!! Sia lah, i cant imagine... Okay lets not talk abt that it seems i have spend alot of time talking on that! But however, i took a walk to sch today and guess what i thought i saw a class mates whom i have bad relationships with. It really looked like her from the back, her dressing , the ways she walks, the stlye of her hair, her fashion sense, they are all the same.... When i walked past, thn i realised that it was another person... Facepalm sia I!!! The moment is that i thought i have to say hi and thanks GOD! i skipped the phase... Another things today is i feel very messy, my feelings and thoughts are messed up...................

STUCKIN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEA

i have very messy feeling this few days, whether it is a happy or sad one, i cannot even tell it myself... I am like in the daze, not knowing the happening around me... Gotta work hard for UT 3 man! can afford to slack.... Tmr still got wushu training man!!!! The thing that i hate is nid to clean up the stupid damn weapon room which i am not going to do so.... This is something like a rubbish, what everybody is in one team, when one suffer everyone suffers when one happy everyone stay happy. This is completely completely bull shit stuffs... The person who says this is also a pussy for say this.... Let me tell u y? I could tell in times of hard times, all of them will run and will not wait for you, they will just think for themselves.... BY having bonding sessions, eating tgt after training, these are alll fucking bullshits activities that waste time and effort. Cause they will never help in times when the real trouble comes... Like i said , the only person u can trust in RP is yourselves, when some other ppl comes to u and tell u a certain thing, u have to place a 50-50 believe and not believe into it. From there u will see which is the path to take.....Fucking ass shit, i do not even want to clean what weapon room, it is a fucking waste of my time. Also in the first place, i do not mind training in an environment that have no carpet, the most important thing is have coach can alr... The most important thing is that u improved or learn something new can alr.... Nothing seems to be more important thing than that. Those people who claim before u learn wushu must learn attitude lah, mind set lah and all the rubbish are all plain bull shiters. I can tell they never even learn it themselves and somemore want ppl to learn it... Stupid idiots! tmr i will just go and train and see what i can do to improve myself futher and btw i cant give up even though i know that i am in a low level... I must not give up even though i have no motivaters to motivate me in training..... If i wan to improve, i gotta do it myself and not wait for ppl to come and tell me. seriously, WHEN IS THE TIME WHEN I REALLY CAN SEE THE MAX IMPROVEMENTS? WHEN IS THE TIME WHEN I COULD OVERCOME MY INNER FEAR? WHEN IS THE TIME I COULD HAVE A STRONG URGE TO ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS? WHEN IS THE TIME WHERE I COULD HAVEA STRONG AND UNBEATABLE FIGHTING SPRIT? WHEN IS THE TIME WHERE I COULD FIND THE TRUE MEANING OF BEING AN EXPERT? these are all the things i have in my mind for so long that i did not express it out...

Endless Flaw In My Life

In everything i do, there seems to be flaws and mistakes happening in it. Even the smallest and tiny mistakes can annoy me to the max... I tried to be flawless and perfect in my target or task that i am dong but it turns out to have mistakes in it... I really hate the fact that i am 1000000000 miles away from being "perfect".... I hate and despise it.... It can be very disheartening when u are keen a learning a particular of interest, but people are trying to stop u from learning. PPL are just afraid if they give a small advantage, you would overtake them. They are just fucking gays that are afraid to compete and to win.... But however, this wont stop me... I will not rest until i catch you up.... I will not stop even it takes me an hour, a week , a month or even 10 years.... Dun worry, these are all barely opininon i have of some ppl around me... Even though i am not your opponent now, that does not mean i will lose forever.... I fucking hate the taste of losing, i hate it to the max, i wot stay at that level forever......Going through all these years, i figured out myself... I am a kind of person who will seat there and wait for help in times of trouble. similarly i will compete with ppl.....THis cant be changed.

OFF THE DEEP END

hahah finally it has all come down to the last day of the year one semester 1 of my rp sch life... This can be very sad and happy at the same time, there are pros and cons of it. The pros are holiday is coming and i can use the time to train harder both for my wushu and body. I could take some time off to plan my nutrition... However all these need money... Also one thing is so sad and reluctant is that i have to seperate wtih my classmates and some of the class mates that i dun like, it is okay. The fact that is my good friend that i have to seperate. I m not those kind of ppl who would cry and say i cant bear to live you... My type of person will not do that but instead wish the best out of someone... However it is inevitable that i will miss my class mates... That one things that is still kept in my heart for so long and actually never got to share it out... This is something that i have been keeping in for so long... hahah i wanted to say about my class mate....To be the most frank, and since today is the last day of the semester, i still can say my feelings still have not totally dissappear from the girl i like in the class.... When she stand close to me, i could still feel that i am attracted to her... Damn i thought that i ha alr took time off to forget abt her but it seems that was a epic fail... But nevermind whether it is or not the last day, i still dun get to see her anymore.... my visions and feeling for her will be stuck forever.... If someday maybe fate bring us together once again in my years of studying in rp, then I WILL WALK UP TO HER BRAVELY AND SAY : YOH ! I LIKE YOU ! ahahahha this kind of luck or what is somewhat impossible... we will see how it goes!

Echo

Today is the formal presentation day! And here am i, at home doing my own things. To be quite honest i am a little sad but i do not know what to do. I cant seems to adapt to the life in RP. I will be doomed if i cant do that. My father told me that the society is the kind of things that breaks ppl rice bowls if you are not careful... I am struck by what my father said....I could not believe the first time in my life that i chose to run away from situatuion that i could not solve... The problems lies in me. I take every single words, actions and feelings very seriously. The fact that i hate pathetic expressions on ppl face that makes me want to kill them.... I would rather say strong than being like a pathetic dog that ask for sympathy and pity from ppl.... This is something that i hate the most, hating all the miserable and pitiful face expressions which make my anger blow... It has been pass down to the last 3 days of my semester one, and i am however not ready for semester 2. Frankly speakng the challenges ahead of me is unknown and what i can do now is to prepare myself for the worst.... Next time i will not give in so easily, i will not run away fm situations that i could not solve... I have not even a drip of support from anyone but myself... I must stay strong! When semester 2 comes, it is just like something new is heading my way!

RAGE

Today was a damn fuck up day, i finally see the true side of some people. On my side, i am no more MR. NICE guy, i am turning back to my old self soon.... They will feel me, what my friends say is correct, u cant give in to them if not they will take u as a joke..... Really this the place where i vent all my anger here..... i seriouslyy cant take this fucking shit anymore..... I need to make everything a reality to them.... Why this fucking shit have to happen to me? Why me? ii do ot understand y? Why? i am supposed to be the most nicest guy in the world, the guy that makes friends with anyone..... But why? u made me damn fucking angry, seriously i will not take this shit anymore , futhermore this is the last week, i will not tahan them anymore.

FAREWELL

The year one, semester one is going to end in one more week period.... This is where the class mates, environment and even faci are going to change... It is quite depressing for me to part with them. Even though we had so much fun and even quarrel at times, we still work as one class... My senior told me this: year one semester one class always the most awesome, cause they are the first class mates that u mean when u step in the sch... Hahaha true true...It has been since a long time since i added a post because i am busy, both at sch, wushu and outing:) Hahaz national day had past and i did not even watch the parade cause that day i went outing with my friends.....However good to hear one thing is that LKY is still in good shape despite hearing bad rumors from outside claiming that he is 'gone' (touch wood)...Long Live LKY, u are the root of singapore, without you, we will be here in the first place....Apart from that, MY UT 2 results are not good either, my science diproved the most from a B+ grade to a D+ grade.... My maths improve but the improvement was not good enough; too little. From a E grade to a D grade... This is something very embrassing to tell but nevermind....My problem solving improve the most from a C grade to a A grade:))) and my communication , i still maintained my A grade.... This is something happy for communication and problem solving module... Most of all the results for organisationl behavior module is not out yet, i hope i get an A, a B+ is also not bad, but pls dun give me any grade lower than that, GOD bless me !!!!!

A.W.E.S.O.M.E

This is already the 13th week of semester one in my study life in RP. Next week will be the 14th week, and week 15 will be the seperation of my class mates and me... To be frank, i cant bear to change class... One word to describe them: AWESOME ! i dun want to change class if i can... My senior in RP, your semester one class mates are the most awesome classmates in RP...... Damn make sure that by this 2 weeks , i must bond and interact with them well... Btw today i am supposed to go to johor with my friends, but i did not go, due to the sudden time change that made me aliitle irrated... To be frank, some people are getting in my nerves.... thier attitude made me very tired.... but nevermind today i will just write a short post! cyaaaaaa!