Another lazy day

I have been researching for my module physiology & anatomy these few days and i have yet to found alot of useful information. Damn RP, i thought their 6p will spoon feed u the whole idea of the topic but in this case the answer is no. U have to do all the research yourself. WTF! I should not have come to rp. okay lets skip that topic anyway since i have to do it sooner or later. Tmr is the last day of the week and i wonder how should i spend this count down day with? Having a girlfriend or a partner is so good at this point of time as you get to spend a great time with him or her. I guess it will be another lonely year for me.... Haiz...sch weeks is gonna start soon. another 6 weeks of sch left and i will be promoted to year 2! I hope this semester pass real fast and i dun have to worry certain things.

Invinsible

It has been a while since i have the mood to write a post in this blog post but i will keep this blog personal. It has been long since my last post. In the end , i am still single. I chose to back out in the relationships that i chose to be in. This is top avoid the harm brought to me. Every days passes and i feel certainly stronger as i learn and experiences new things. I feel that in the past i am childish and immature but now i will not say that i have learn everything but i assume i have the right to say that I AM CERTAINLY MORE MATURE AT THIS POINT OF TIME. Even in relationships, i do not wish to go back to the worst memories. I have learn alot. There is one thing that makes me very sad. Throughtout all this 18 years of my life, i have never actually beaten myself before. PPL always say the biggest oppentent in your life is YOU yourself. However, i haven never been able to fully control my desire, principles and my morale. I feel that i cant. I still belong to the nature where my emotions are being controlled my nature. I have alot of thing to say to myself and to reflect on. I do not wish to carry a life where there is no point or objective. I hope things would go on smoothly for me as i could sense that there is a great trouble coming before my eyes. I hope my next relationship will be the last and final.... I feel very sick and tired of this ...2013 is coming and i still want to stay in 2012. 2012 has been a fun year for me as i met ppl with different attitudes, working space and personalities. It can be great if i could have been a better person.

I found my love!

Guess what? why do i write this post??? Cause i found a person that i like.... She is so cute and gentle..... damn i am thinking of her everytime i am not occupied with something... Damn but there is bad news! I have a competetor in my class....Sorry to my competitior cause he is such a nice guy too but he is like blocking me....damn, btw i really hate her going to my competetor..... Damn the feeling sucks to the max! I really wanted to have her, am i going to fail in this relation? Nooooooo! i hopefully hope not man.... I am going to take actions soon and i really hope that i would be in the same team as her this coming monday.... damnnnnnnn i want herrrrrr!!!!! She is so cuteeeeeeee! but anyway i went shopping for clothes just because my class mates said that i wore a clavin klein jeans polo t shirt too much and it some hows tranishes my reputation..... What reputation do i have???? Hahahha just kidding .... Moving onnnnn! I tell you what!!! yo yo yo! i bought 3 shirts form CK calvin klein and guess what???? I bought a shirt form giorgio armani, i know i am crazy!!! hahahah peace guys:)

Down with fever!

Next next week is the start of my UT 1 exams and the time seems to pass so fast! another 10 weeks and i am done for year 1. That is so fst. Yesterday i watched ah boys to men , a local film by JAck Neo. The movie is so damn interesting and this is the first time watching a local film and it is worth my money. Hahax the movie is soooo funny and the whole movie is filled laughter throught the movie. Btw i love TOSH ROCK acting.... It is way entertaining. I love it! Now i am currently down with fever, my training regime seems have to pull back! Damn when will i ever have the time to get all these things done?

End Of Wushu

Okay i am goona keep it short and sweet.... Today marks the REAL end of my wushu days in my whole entire life and there are no more further contradictions within myself anymore. I just have to some time to myslef to forget my pain and move on..... I am thinking on to doing music or fashion. For music path, i feel like learning a piano or a violin..... Or likewise i could choose fashion for hobby. But i have no one to give me directions on what to do or how to persue a fashion status..... I am still in the midst of selecting.... On the other hand, i am trying to get my perfect body figure with more strict dieting and training due to no more wushu training anymore....... okay i will write up till here!

Back Strain

Today is an unlucky day, my backs hurt till my head is going to drop off from my head.... I miss today's lesson on microbiology.... damn... going to UT 1 and i am absent from lessons...no choice my back damn fucking hurts and this is the first time having this kind of experience and it really shock me.... Today when i wake up from my bed,my back is damn damn damn damn fucking pain, i cant even move a single muscle....i drag myslef not walk but drag myself all the way to the clinic and finally apply something on my back i could now write a blog post after so long... damn i have my eyes on the clothes of marc by marc jacobs for so long and i have no more cash left to buy.... damn!!! marc by marc jacobs is probably most charismatic and styleish clothes i have seen. All the clothes , bags, accessories prices ranges from hundereds of dollars... I have recently purchase a shopper bag from marc by marc jacobs which cost me 660 sgd... it is 100% high quality leather and the bag fits my size... It does not look too big nor too small. Plus the bag has a slim fit design.... It is truly a good looking shopper bag....

A quiet Thursday Night

Now i know the reason why it is important to have accompanied either by friends or family members .The main thing here is being accompanied. Today is my resting day and saturday marks the end of my wushu journey. I know my life is full of contradictation but here i am trying to live back on the right path. I feel that my life is being distracted by little things that are affecting my emotions diverting my attention to the things that are useless. I want to live life to my fullest and have no regrets. I always have a question in mind: why am i always a runner-up to people where always ppl are doing things ahead of me.Faster than me! When i get to the point, i will only get dissapointment. God bless me! Set me back on the right track!

New Look, New Style, Brand New

Okay i haven been quite free this days and i am always at home doing stuffs, working out and play chinese chess (wth). Hahax i guess i am gonna occupy myself with something else or i will get crazy... Anyway next week, i would have a bbq chillax session with my friends and time to take photos! Okay abt my blog, i feel so inferior and ashamed and bloggers claims that thier blogs have abt 300 to 400 view per day and famous blogger have 10k + views per days, i guess my blog view per day is less then 10.... Dun laugh it is the truth... However my blog is all abt personal life events which i wanted to listed it all down as it serve as a good memories to track back since the day when i am still a youth.... I guess i have to change the stlye of my writing in blog in the sense there is no slang, i will trying putting in more pictures when i get my cameras and also i will give my blog a new look, template whatsoever soooon! i guess my blog is drop dead boring when there is no pictures, videos but actually a whole block of words! damn next time i will lesssen my word limit and there it goes! i will try to make the number of views per day of my blog increase day by day! if not forver up till now i only with 2k + views which is damn pathetic. I will just have to improve my blog day by day, so patience!

Fashion Needs

I have been trying to learn all abt fashions of both men and women.... I seems obsessed with fashion even with the designers goods such as louis vuitton, marc jacobs and even armani.... I have been researching abt how fashions works and what is the lastest trend..... I really like the brand MARC by marc jacobs... The design of the apparel and goods are fairly good.... What i wante dto say that the design of tote bag is really good and it is designed specially for men... It is cool... have made up my mind that when my next new batch of clothes i am going to buy are going to include brands such as marc jacobs, abercrombie & fitch, H&M, TOPMAN and louis vuitton.... I know that it is going to be expensive but i am working more this week.....And i will try to post a review about the quality, opinions and information about the product i have bought....I have been staying at home this few days trying to recuperate my body, damn my delts is in pain maybe from my wushu training or my gym sessions.... I have been taking a control diet this few days... Next week, i will choing my wushu training, just because i wan to win the the upcoming IVP 2012...My senior year 3 is completing in the event same as me and he is GOOD in that routine... I hope that my one week of training will catch him up with the stadard....Pls i do not want to loose even i am the junior and i have not much experience.... I will catch him up but i am training in singapore, he is training in China which more wushu experts there to give him pointers... I have to be strong and my mindset will depend what result i am going to get!

WEAKLINGS

The weaklings i am referring to is the one wrting this post. That rights! It is me, i have to admitt that i am a weakling, a words only no actions... In anothers words, i am a big mouth who does boast all his ways, shit ass fucker... The main reason i said this is today i decicded to officially quit Wushu, i dun care what the commettiee says but my mind is set. I am going to quit wushu, due to the large lost of interests and the ppl there....Solely is the ppl there is the main reason that i quit.... So no choice, after all sports like wushu is not mine... I can only seat and envy other ppl training but the sad truth is i cant Resident evil Run, another 2 pts and Singapore national games , maximum 4 pts and also online quiz 1 pts and the RP open house with another 1 pts..... I will keep a look out from there after i come out of wushu...I will try to start a new begining.....But for now i have a very big storm to face, i am not sure whether i will pass this storm anot?

Fucking Stereotyper.....

I fucking hate stereotypers which generalise something with no informations that is very getting on my nerves... I fucking hate them, they say or claim things tthat are not true and perhaps they are ppl who are the fucking shit pussies.... They suck! The only thing to prove them wrong is to show them wht you are made off..... Some idiots love to stereotype that people with university educations will do better in aything than a polytecnnic student which is in his year one..... This is fucking DUMB TO HAVE SUCH A CLAIM... First i want to say that it is logical to say that a university student do have a higher education level and therefore they shoyld earn big money and does things better than people who have lower education than them.... It is logical to think this way.... But this is fucking bull shitttt....it is true that university education is gooood, i have no doubts against but is is a pussy for someone to predict the fate of someone using the fucking vagina skill 'stereotyping'....... Dumb fuck! I swear i will prove to some ppl that i am the one that is standing strong......wait for me!

DISHEARTENING facts

There seems to many things and factors should i say that could pull you anything in any point of your life.... Even in facebook pictures could pull u down... Even the slightest things could make a big impact in your life.... Also when one thing triggers the another, it would be endless and the party at the losing end is always the person who stay and never change his mind.... I mean if we find something that has no future, hope, expectations, we should not stay in there for so long or we will have a deep scar in our hearts and person as a whole...When seeing such things u have to put away personnal thoughts and move on in a realistic ways... Thi is hard to execute but also the best prevention to keep you from harm.... I find this hard to do and i have never execute it before.... There is one thing that i wanted to leave very long but i could not bear to do that as it has already became a part of me. Also it pains me when ever i am absent from it, i still keep the beautiful memories in me...... However i cant to kick it away or ignore it... I have always wanting to excel in that area but iFAILED, EPIC FAIL. i could not understand the reason why i failed... I saw photos on fb of people who sussceeded and went on very far and i am still at the same point.... I could not believe why i failed, people like me who failed???? WHY?

Dead End

I have just finished my UT exams in my life of year one sem one of rp. I was hoping for good results to come upon me except for the subjects maths which i ahve very little confidence in and i did not even put any effort into. However i still wish to get a recent garde with my own abilities. Also, yesterday i have a fun day out with friends at the singapore arts festival 2012... It was a nite street event that consists many arts show case, street performance and even hot spots at SOTA.... This is a very cool event and i wish i would go there often to watch the nite performance and enjoy the nite life there...In addition this is the first time where our poly friend hector has joined us in such kind of event... I enjoyed the times with him, his laughter has made the group more lively and i managed to took some photos wif him all on fb.....i do not upload the photos in blog due to the inconvience and also fb timeslines tells the story of me...hahaha i have some upcoming event like hiking, trip to henderson wave bridge , selina's 18 birthday and even singapore national game....hahaha this makes me wanna go all of them which i am going to do so.... Damn i wish today i could go out too but however i did not.... staying at home ake me rot esp with nothing to do....I would like to go more special events damn i am just waiting for the rite time to past....dun waste my time and besides i really hope my next semester 2 will be a fruitful one with awesome ppl in my class and alsoi dont wish to commit the same mistakes again. and i will play my best to become the 'PERFECT' person even thought it may not sounds to be attainable!

Again & Again

Today is such an happening day for me, firstly when i went to sch, i met a person whom i contradicted to whether to say a hi anot. Seriously, alot of things have been going through me. I am thinking what if i say a HI , then she turned her head off. This will be leave me a awkard situation, i am thinking whether just to say a hi or another words just mind my own my buisiness. At the end of the day, i chose to ignore.... I could feel the awkard moment covered around me...... I was like wth!!! I relate this matter all to coincidence....anyway in my opinion, i cant imagine i say a HI to her and her reaction was like WTF, why is this unknown guy talking to me? Is he a pervert ; se lang!!!!!! Sia lah, i cant imagine... Okay lets not talk abt that it seems i have spend alot of time talking on that! But however, i took a walk to sch today and guess what i thought i saw a class mates whom i have bad relationships with. It really looked like her from the back, her dressing , the ways she walks, the stlye of her hair, her fashion sense, they are all the same.... When i walked past, thn i realised that it was another person... Facepalm sia I!!! The moment is that i thought i have to say hi and thanks GOD! i skipped the phase... Another things today is i feel very messy, my feelings and thoughts are messed up...................

STUCKIN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEA

i have very messy feeling this few days, whether it is a happy or sad one, i cannot even tell it myself... I am like in the daze, not knowing the happening around me... Gotta work hard for UT 3 man! can afford to slack.... Tmr still got wushu training man!!!! The thing that i hate is nid to clean up the stupid damn weapon room which i am not going to do so.... This is something like a rubbish, what everybody is in one team, when one suffer everyone suffers when one happy everyone stay happy. This is completely completely bull shit stuffs... The person who says this is also a pussy for say this.... Let me tell u y? I could tell in times of hard times, all of them will run and will not wait for you, they will just think for themselves.... BY having bonding sessions, eating tgt after training, these are alll fucking bullshits activities that waste time and effort. Cause they will never help in times when the real trouble comes... Like i said , the only person u can trust in RP is yourselves, when some other ppl comes to u and tell u a certain thing, u have to place a 50-50 believe and not believe into it. From there u will see which is the path to take.....Fucking ass shit, i do not even want to clean what weapon room, it is a fucking waste of my time. Also in the first place, i do not mind training in an environment that have no carpet, the most important thing is have coach can alr... The most important thing is that u improved or learn something new can alr.... Nothing seems to be more important thing than that. Those people who claim before u learn wushu must learn attitude lah, mind set lah and all the rubbish are all plain bull shiters. I can tell they never even learn it themselves and somemore want ppl to learn it... Stupid idiots! tmr i will just go and train and see what i can do to improve myself futher and btw i cant give up even though i know that i am in a low level... I must not give up even though i have no motivaters to motivate me in training..... If i wan to improve, i gotta do it myself and not wait for ppl to come and tell me. seriously, WHEN IS THE TIME WHEN I REALLY CAN SEE THE MAX IMPROVEMENTS? WHEN IS THE TIME WHEN I COULD OVERCOME MY INNER FEAR? WHEN IS THE TIME I COULD HAVE A STRONG URGE TO ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS? WHEN IS THE TIME WHERE I COULD HAVEA STRONG AND UNBEATABLE FIGHTING SPRIT? WHEN IS THE TIME WHERE I COULD FIND THE TRUE MEANING OF BEING AN EXPERT? these are all the things i have in my mind for so long that i did not express it out...

Endless Flaw In My Life

In everything i do, there seems to be flaws and mistakes happening in it. Even the smallest and tiny mistakes can annoy me to the max... I tried to be flawless and perfect in my target or task that i am dong but it turns out to have mistakes in it... I really hate the fact that i am 1000000000 miles away from being "perfect".... I hate and despise it.... It can be very disheartening when u are keen a learning a particular of interest, but people are trying to stop u from learning. PPL are just afraid if they give a small advantage, you would overtake them. They are just fucking gays that are afraid to compete and to win.... But however, this wont stop me... I will not rest until i catch you up.... I will not stop even it takes me an hour, a week , a month or even 10 years.... Dun worry, these are all barely opininon i have of some ppl around me... Even though i am not your opponent now, that does not mean i will lose forever.... I fucking hate the taste of losing, i hate it to the max, i wot stay at that level forever......Going through all these years, i figured out myself... I am a kind of person who will seat there and wait for help in times of trouble. similarly i will compete with ppl.....THis cant be changed.

OFF THE DEEP END

hahah finally it has all come down to the last day of the year one semester 1 of my rp sch life... This can be very sad and happy at the same time, there are pros and cons of it. The pros are holiday is coming and i can use the time to train harder both for my wushu and body. I could take some time off to plan my nutrition... However all these need money... Also one thing is so sad and reluctant is that i have to seperate wtih my classmates and some of the class mates that i dun like, it is okay. The fact that is my good friend that i have to seperate. I m not those kind of ppl who would cry and say i cant bear to live you... My type of person will not do that but instead wish the best out of someone... However it is inevitable that i will miss my class mates... That one things that is still kept in my heart for so long and actually never got to share it out... This is something that i have been keeping in for so long... hahah i wanted to say about my class mate....To be the most frank, and since today is the last day of the semester, i still can say my feelings still have not totally dissappear from the girl i like in the class.... When she stand close to me, i could still feel that i am attracted to her... Damn i thought that i ha alr took time off to forget abt her but it seems that was a epic fail... But nevermind whether it is or not the last day, i still dun get to see her anymore.... my visions and feeling for her will be stuck forever.... If someday maybe fate bring us together once again in my years of studying in rp, then I WILL WALK UP TO HER BRAVELY AND SAY : YOH ! I LIKE YOU ! ahahahha this kind of luck or what is somewhat impossible... we will see how it goes!

Echo

Today is the formal presentation day! And here am i, at home doing my own things. To be quite honest i am a little sad but i do not know what to do. I cant seems to adapt to the life in RP. I will be doomed if i cant do that. My father told me that the society is the kind of things that breaks ppl rice bowls if you are not careful... I am struck by what my father said....I could not believe the first time in my life that i chose to run away from situatuion that i could not solve... The problems lies in me. I take every single words, actions and feelings very seriously. The fact that i hate pathetic expressions on ppl face that makes me want to kill them.... I would rather say strong than being like a pathetic dog that ask for sympathy and pity from ppl.... This is something that i hate the most, hating all the miserable and pitiful face expressions which make my anger blow... It has been pass down to the last 3 days of my semester one, and i am however not ready for semester 2. Frankly speakng the challenges ahead of me is unknown and what i can do now is to prepare myself for the worst.... Next time i will not give in so easily, i will not run away fm situations that i could not solve... I have not even a drip of support from anyone but myself... I must stay strong! When semester 2 comes, it is just like something new is heading my way!

RAGE

Today was a damn fuck up day, i finally see the true side of some people. On my side, i am no more MR. NICE guy, i am turning back to my old self soon.... They will feel me, what my friends say is correct, u cant give in to them if not they will take u as a joke..... Really this the place where i vent all my anger here..... i seriouslyy cant take this fucking shit anymore..... I need to make everything a reality to them.... Why this fucking shit have to happen to me? Why me? ii do ot understand y? Why? i am supposed to be the most nicest guy in the world, the guy that makes friends with anyone..... But why? u made me damn fucking angry, seriously i will not take this shit anymore , futhermore this is the last week, i will not tahan them anymore.

FAREWELL

The year one, semester one is going to end in one more week period.... This is where the class mates, environment and even faci are going to change... It is quite depressing for me to part with them. Even though we had so much fun and even quarrel at times, we still work as one class... My senior told me this: year one semester one class always the most awesome, cause they are the first class mates that u mean when u step in the sch... Hahaha true true...It has been since a long time since i added a post because i am busy, both at sch, wushu and outing:) Hahaz national day had past and i did not even watch the parade cause that day i went outing with my friends.....However good to hear one thing is that LKY is still in good shape despite hearing bad rumors from outside claiming that he is 'gone' (touch wood)...Long Live LKY, u are the root of singapore, without you, we will be here in the first place....Apart from that, MY UT 2 results are not good either, my science diproved the most from a B+ grade to a D+ grade.... My maths improve but the improvement was not good enough; too little. From a E grade to a D grade... This is something very embrassing to tell but nevermind....My problem solving improve the most from a C grade to a A grade:))) and my communication , i still maintained my A grade.... This is something happy for communication and problem solving module... Most of all the results for organisationl behavior module is not out yet, i hope i get an A, a B+ is also not bad, but pls dun give me any grade lower than that, GOD bless me !!!!!

A.W.E.S.O.M.E

This is already the 13th week of semester one in my study life in RP. Next week will be the 14th week, and week 15 will be the seperation of my class mates and me... To be frank, i cant bear to change class... One word to describe them: AWESOME ! i dun want to change class if i can... My senior in RP, your semester one class mates are the most awesome classmates in RP...... Damn make sure that by this 2 weeks , i must bond and interact with them well... Btw today i am supposed to go to johor with my friends, but i did not go, due to the sudden time change that made me aliitle irrated... To be frank, some people are getting in my nerves.... thier attitude made me very tired.... but nevermind today i will just write a short post! cyaaaaaa!

Gardens By The Bay

yesterday i and my friends or rather my friends and i wen to the garden by the bay at bayfront...When we went there at around 9.45 , it was raining heavily and we did not went up. Instead we went to walk around in the shopping centre in MBS...HOHOHO ! the place was beautiful and cold too. What made me write this post today is we did something in our life that we have never done before and never came across before. It shocks me man:) However it is not a bad thing, it is a good thing... When my friends and i are walking around, Valerie pointed to us as she spotted a young little girl with a hoodie crying. Valerie says that she is lost...I immeiately say that we should help the girl found back thier parents, so at instance i asked Valerie to approach the young girl instead because we boys are rough and that might make the girl afraid... Finally valerie approached the girl and indeed she was lost and this is the time i went up to the girl and comfort her. WE immediately send her to the nearest information counter to announce that there is a girl missing... IF i am not wrong her name is WANG XIN YAN. She is a quiet little gir... HAHA after a while she found back her parents, and i am so gald that she had found back her parents... from there on we carried on our journey... By these time it is still raining heavily and out of nowhere one of my friends suggested that we should head to orchead to shop! Oh my , this is rediculous to me, i came here to go to the garden by the bay but you are asking me to leave now seeing the garden by the bay? NO way, i suggested that we should wait for the rain to stop and go up to the garden.... HOwever my preediction is true enough, the rain stopped but not to the fullest extent...We went up to the garden by the bay....It was so dark there...At first it was nothing special and i thought it was just a flat piece of land with trees and flowers, thats all. but when we venture further in, the garden was beautiful...Specially in the nite, the whole place is awesome... I feel like i am in the world of AVATAR....wow facinating rite? Then my friends and i were cam whoring there with all the fighting, unglam, funny poses we made there. However it was fun, i really enjyed it alot.... WE decided to go MBS sky park in the next 3 weeks!

Me Against All Odds

Finally i have been waiting for this day to come, UT 2 is finally over and i left UT 3 somewhere in late August and september... Today my class have a heated argument with the person called NANDINI, and guess what she cried! I feel both sad for her and at the same time i feel that in a way or another she really deserved what she gets. Okay i feel sad for her is beacause the most of the class ppl is targeting at her with blunt words and high voice. On the other side, She FUCKING deserve it. She has no friends but a whole load of enemies in class.... she got no choice but to turn to me and my friends for sympathy and pity.... Due to her bossy attitude and fucked up attitude, i wont give a damn abt it... So what should i do? I should be the jury aka neutral party...This is alr the 12th week, after this week it will be 13th week, when it reaches the 15th week, we wave hands at each other.... This is fucking stupid, NANDINI cried in class! WTF! CB, i feel that i never show my ANGER, i would be deem as NOTHING.... Why in the fucking world do i scared of my poly classmates? I think if i am not respected, i will fuck them up upside down! However i MUST NOT GO BACK TO MY PAST, IT WILL BE A BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE IF I DO THAT! Dun care what happen i must stay strong, nobody is in my side to give me moral support or lend me a shoulder to lean on.....I have no other options, the odds are against me... I feel so weak, but i cant give up till this point! Who will stay by my side to support me ? who?

CRUSH

Tmr will be maths UT 2, ho ho ho , damn it predict it is goona be hard... Maths has been my enemy since i reached secondary 1, it has been troubling me alot, i hope tmr will be a smooth one, i dun wanna get a E, damn it.... Hahax next week schedule will be damn packed, boy shopping for formal clothes, then go sebawang beach, some more my class wants to go to the harry potter exibition, hahax that is gonna be fun, btw UT 3 wont come so fast.... Instead i really need to put in time to train wushu, i haven been slacking like an idiot ever since i finished my republic run event... Damn, if i never start training now, i never think myself of going into competition again, the medals wont be mine... I think today i will head for a workout later, bench press, dead lift, dips and some shoulder isolation exercise.....MY body is not in good shape this few days, i dun know why? I think it is because of my diet, also i have no time to diet when i am in sch....haha when i am no more studying, i will be going for my dream.... Exceed my limits, within the boundaries!

Me Against The Odds

Time to write a post about my classmates in RP.... Hahax there has been alot of arguments and controversies about among classmates in my class... Why must it be so complicated... The problem is caused where everybody had thier own problems and both party do not wan to change to gain PEACE... I on the other hand living peacefully with my life, yet i have problems in and out of me... I STARTING TO HATE AND DESPISE SOME OF MY CLASS MATES... I CAN BELIEVE THAT I AM DOING THAT! I ANTHONY HAVE NEVER DONE THAT IN MY LIFE....THIS SHOWS HOW MUCH I HATE THIS PARTICULAR CLASSMATES... The first candidate for this category is HR... i wont name her full name due to some rules and issues... This girl is a kind of pest , really... i feel that she should e send to geylang to be a whore there... She is fucking pest, irrating, with a face of an ugly pig... I wannna fight an MMA match with her!!!! URHhhhhh! i hate her, she likes to pretend that she is very close to someone , but in actual fact that she only know the person for only few days and yet she act like she know the person for 1000 years.... This is kinda stupid and retarded... She acts like a big shot in the class, i feel very disgusted by that, i cant tolerated her actions anymore by writing this post. The second girl is yy, same i will not say her full name.... This wan is slightest different... This wan think that she is a BIG FUCK, SHE THINKS THAT HER CB IS SO BIG .... WELL I DUN THINK SO, I THINK I AM BEEN GIVING HER FACE SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN RP.... MY ANGER IS GOING TO EXPLODE SOON, I AM GOING TO STRIKE WITH MY MIGHT SOON ON HER, IF I HAVE TO HURT HER, I DONT MIND IT.... this girl actually talk like a big fuck, act like a big fuck, she thinks that she got good results she pro alr.... Fuck it, i hate it.... This 2 girls add tgt, confirm can hurt ppl wan... they alr hurt ppl in thier team, wtf, they say somethig so hurting that they hurt a team mate until she cries, a sad truth...

A Touching Moment

Today i just witnessed a touching moment when a mother was teaching her very very very cute little son how to walk... She hold on to his hands, i could feel the utmost love for the mother to her son... Look at her son, he is so eager to take one step futher ahead of him... I love the touching moment when the little son is tired, the mother immediately spread her arms like an elegant eagle to carry him in her arms.... This moment touched me deeply, cause i am a kind of different person, i tend to like to be alone, i like the empty air without being disturbed... Perhaps from young up till now, i have been taking parental love and guidance or granted.... I feel that i am not like the other teenager of my age, people at my age tend to go out with families and bond with them.... But look at me, i ahve been independent for most of the things, i tend to regard family bonding as bullshit.... I think i got some kind of mental problem.... Haiz, it is hard to accept the fact, but i am just born this way, i do not want it to happen in this way, but i have no choice.... For me, i have a segeration between my parents and me.... I act, live, and do anything different from them.... People often says that i do not resemble my parents at all.... Today i received a email from RP, asking me to go for conselling, thats another bullshit that is goona waste my time.... But i feel that i need help in clearing all the dark doubts in my mind, they have been troubling me since when i was born in this world...Why am i so different from ppl, where at this time they are all enjoying their family dinner, while i need to sit in the dark and eating my dinner myself.....? Sometimes i feel myself going out of boundaries!

Sunny

Hahax my leg finally recovered from the open wound i had after the republic run alr....Finally i can trained to my fullest potential in my fanzi quan alr... I think i have made my decisions alr, i now trained like siao to my max, then this year IVP i want to compete, i try y best to obtain top 3 medals...Then after that, i decided to quit or not... In order to move on to the next thing that i wanna do.... Tmr will be a tiring day for me.. First of all, tmr i have OB UT 2... damn it is not going to be that starightforward and simple, i swear.... Hope i know all the questions...Btw i have IG tmr also got CCE activity.... This CCE activity is special because it is abt learning taichi.... HAhahahahah, i hope everything will be smooth tmr....

Being Hidden In The Dark Side

i wannted to write this post as i really want to vent my anger on how much i missed a girl who already has a boy friend....i gotta be frank with myself... i really missed her, i would act differently if she does not have a boyfriend and perhaps i do not want to spoil her relationships with her current boyfriend... cause i know how is it like when someone break up relationships with you and your girlfrend... In the end i am always the one to get hurt and have all the scar on my mental mind.... as i am writing the post i missed her so much even i am going to see her tmr in class, but i really wanted to see her now, i hated the fact why am i so slow and retard useless when it comes to relationships..... Tell me why GOD? why did u do this to me when i haveen even comitted anything evil in my life.... I did not do anything that go against my guilt and why i am facing somehthing so painful... I decided that after my first semester finish, i wanted to tell her my feeling towards her, befor ei regret for ot telling her.... I have amny dark past, i wnated to be clear to her... I hope things will change for the better and if not i will be stuck in the dark side forever... I am missing her too much even now, i cant seems to forget her, i tried many times but the more i tried, it failed me and it bring me more pain than ever.. I cant denied the fact how much i liked her.... The reason for me liking her i think it due to her dutiful and high in conscientious qualities in her... I really like her correcting me when i do something silly... That were the times that really enjoyed very much.... Also i kinda think that she is a kind of girl that think very positively....i really liked her very much, even it is my frst time cant forget a girl... Due my dating past experiences, i could forget a girl easily but not this time anymore..... I am in deep shit, as my exams are around the corner and at this point of time i am still thiking abut all this shit..... After the 15 weeks and everything will end , not more suffering more me and the real feelings will be shown out, i already know the answer but yet i still wanted to tell her no matter what.... i have to be brave enough or i will lose out even in the small matters......

Moving On To Another Part Of My Life

i guess i just got to know a truth throughtout the 18 years of my life.... I am very discouraged by it however it is time to move on with my life. I GOT NO PARENTS, ONLY BENEFACTORS THAT PROVIDE ME WITH EDUCATION... NOW THAT IS SOMETHING VERY CRUEL TO ME... however i choose to move on with my life, i want to forget the shit truth and now i am planning to graduate faster and maybe after serving my national service, i will move out of this house... i knew the fact that life in the outside world is not an easy one, but still i want to take on the challenge....Now currently i am year 1 in the polytechnic, in the blink of an eye, i will graduate out very fast...However i am now stuck with the CCE poin ts system becasue i regretted joining wushu that waste the half year of my time.... it is not the matter of having interest or not but rather it is being realistic with my goals.... I have no time to train, like this i have very slim chance of improving plus going home too late... I need to study, i want to go to a univeristy, i dun wan to suffer when i grow up....i am not very please with the coach too.... they always teach the stronger ones and wtf, i hardly have anytime to train in the carpet.... I AM A 'TALK ONLY NO ACTION' KIND OF GUY FOR SAY I AM QUITING WUSHU. I admitted the fact i am that...i am no saw loser.... anyway most of the rp wushu team ppl sucks except for some which is good and does not look down on ppl...But most of the year one ppl there are damn cunning.... One example, i will not say the real name but i would name this person name Peter..... Peter act like one person that he is not interested in wushu but in his heart he wanted to be the captain of the wushu team, that is for sure, i can sense his eagerness to be the top in the team however he will never be.... Thats for sure and peter's friend, who thinks that ppl with backgound in wushu are plai cocky.... That is just fucking bull shit that he can shove it in his own fucking monkey ass.... Beacuse he is just jealous that ppl are on top of him, and despite he is new to wushu.... fuck it, i dun give a damn to him, i am sure that if he happened to have background in wushu for example, he would be 10 times as cocky as compared to other people.... this is just bull shit, i fucking hate him, but anything that does not concern me anymore, i am leaving just concentrating on my life and most mportant thing to do:CCE points... that is the most concern of me rite now...... haiz gotta move on with my life......

One sided

Why is it so hard to let go something completely. I admitted that one sided love is the most hard to experience...I am experiencing it now.... I like a girl and she alr has a bf.... Y? why am i so slow, if i am one step ahead, i would get her by my side right now.... I hate it when i like a girl, her heart is with someone else.... I really hate the feeling... I thought i let go of her, but why the feeling is coming back now? WHY? i cant take it anymore alr, it is very painful, i cant move on futher in my life where i am stuck at a point....Damn my heart, it is being pierced with a sharp blade.... I really like that person very much, if she has no bf in the first place, i think i would act a differnt way around her..... Damn why am i so slow when it comes to relationships??? WHY? WHY? tell me the main reason why? i cant seems to understand what is the hell going on in me that everytime such one sided love happen to me? Its painful, it is hurtful, it is grieving and it is the most fuck up feeling.... I hope things change when my life goes on and on, things get better and i hope that it will be the lat time i would do this.... Damn the feeling is so strong, even when i am typing this post, i am still thinking of her.....when at outside, i did not look at pretty girls like i always do....... not anymore, this can show how much i am drawn to her.... damn i really wanted time to go back to back, so as to give me a chance to make my move..... I like her!

It's time to let go what's ahead of you

Today was a sulky day for me, i had to admitted it, as my face expressions and attitude recently shows it all... I saw a very nice quote on fb by scott herman, what he says 'GETTING CHALLENGED IN LIFE IS INEVITABLE, BUT GETTING DEFEATED IS OPTIONAL' damn i fucking love this.... This is soooo true....how i wish i could be a strong person....Our life is filled with challenges, i cant denied the fact these 'challenges' are hard to overcome sometimes, the more u wanted to get over it, the more it will try to eat u up.... Funny and contradictinng....I have to slap my head and give myself a wake up call, it is so tough for a one-sided love.....it is so tough to give up something that has alr taken part of you.... I d not believe that i cant overcome, i just have to bear another few weeks, then i am done! i will be in a fresh environment, however i still carry my memories with me.... Damn why are these thigs so painful, i dun want to go trought it if i have the chance....Be strong, if there is anything i can do to make it to the top, there is nothing that can stop me from forgeting this kind of one-sided love..... Hah, i feel i am making myself very cheap,,,, WTF! hahax i kinda have that feeling, fuck care everything, i have a 10km run infront of me, i better focus on that before i will fail everything,wake up wake up wake up anthony, you have to stay strong!!!!

For Close Yet So Far

have been doing lots of dieting and training to prepare for the endurance run the following tuesday... i hope everthing will be fine and i dont have to worrying about anything... Damn tmr i still got wushu, i think i go on monday and skip on friday because just to get one last 10 km run to ensure myself in place... I just did a workout, hahax my bench press weight increases... I am really happy happy for that...arrr anyway another round of exam is around the corner, dammmit it lah, so fast i cant even do the things i wanna do... Dumb fuck sia, i never thought that myself will be in this pathethic state...:( this few days i have reading alot about and even asking alot about horscope.... I AM AN AQUARIUS MAN!!!!! OMG my love relationship is sooo complicated even i dun even understand it myself.... I am compatiable with aries but not with cancer.... SAD, what the online descriptions of aquariius was sooooo true.... It is just like my online personality journal.....Like what it state, i take freedom above all things, i hated ppl to take my freedom away from me and perhaps i like a girl who is supportive in what i do... I like her to see the sunny side of things..... i dun see ppl on thier looks, cause i feel that appearanc are just some kind of ass shit thing.... but of course i am not saying i like a person who look like a hideous monster.... but rather i do not place appearance as one of the important factors..... I like individual and unique girls that have thier own thinking, ohhhhhhh, shit i spilled too much of my secrets! Hahax cya next time...

Tryin is good, but because of trying, failure is an option

Just back from a 6.5km jog which took me 28 minutes, damn i was damn lousy, i swear....partly because i so long never jog since from last year and now i suddenly start my jog routine to prepare myself for the 10km run on the 7th of july... Damn i need to prepare my self or else i am gonna fail the run, that would be the last thing i will do.... Apart of that i wanted to talk myself being a coward... Damn i dun even have the courage to do something.... Not to keep a secret that i actually have a soft spot for someone in my class, i am ashamed of that... when i thought of somethjng that wanted to do for her but at the end i did not do it for her... Before this week, i thought to myself that i wanted to celebrate her birthday wif her but at the end i am at home writing this blog post... I do not even have the guts to walk up to her now... I am sure of that... I think this is a one sided love, which pain me whenever i think of it... i hate this kind of feeling, but i had no choice... However if i am to be with her, i am sure to hurt her due to my past experiences and i feel i am not good enough for her... I have hurt ppl before and i do not wnat to aommit the offence.... I wanted to let her go but, eveytime when i see her, i could do that, i just wanted to keep her safe but everytime it is the ppl around her that keep her safe instead of me and that is the reason that why i said that i am a coward....no guts shit ass... For now, i got to concentrate all the major events that come in front of me... I cant let go what i am doing now before i lost everything and that is the point that i will go crazy.... About my sch studies, my grades improve realy really really alot.... Now i just got to hang in there, another few more weeks i will not see her alr.... when it comes to the last day of my year one life, i will definetely tell her... Something very awkward, even my friend has her number only me i dun have her number, this is something very wakward indeed...I like her but i have no guts to tell her or even even go near her....how long more will i have to wait till i go completely crazy???? I have not guts to tell her the truth even thought i know i will be rejected by her, i am very sure of that, that why the post title is trying is good but because of trying failure is an option.

Going Down

Tmr i will be having my OB UT 1, damn and today i am down with fever man... what a bad time to have fever...i still have to be strong for tmr, if not my test will be done poorly... I will not be attending my wushu training tmr, i wan t go back and rest, i just pass them my photos then, i am off... i hope tmr is pan jiao lian and not xue jiao lian...damn i will be skipping so many things in one day, i kindly feel bad, also now i got no mood to do my OB revision... Haiz sian, hope nothing happen to me tmr,everything will go as smooth... Today i am going to turn in early because juding by my eyes i sure slp very soundly wan....I hope tmr i will be changing in my new teams, i just dun want to team up with some ppl, i hate that but i will not mention names...After next month, i want to buy an abercombie & fitch super skinny sweat pants which cost 130 SGD, damn the stuff is hell of a bomb , just because of the brand i have to pay as much... Haiz, also i went to look for hydro whey yesterday... man, it is damn damn expensive, one 3.5 ibs tub cost about 219 bucks but for me, i can buy it at 153 bucks due to membership....hahaha but still expensive, if i were to buy it i the other countries, it will be much much much cheaper....Dammit! okay i will write up till here, seeya!

Devil Week Ahead......:(

tmr i have my science module and wushu training...damn and the next day, all the shit will start coming in, in these case i mean UTs... haiz, for such occasions, even tmr still got training...very tired, the ppl in wushu does not seems to be aware that it is very tiring to tarin before exams... i mean i know it is not only me tired, everybody including the coach is tired but i just wanted a one day off man! i want to prepare for upcoming 2 weeks of UTs... woah that will be very sianzzz, i can confirm that..but i think i just have to endure these 2 weeks of UT 1 & 2 and the next month will be UT 3 & 4.... haiz... damn tmr after my module, i nid to choing my quiz and rj immediatley alr cause i feel that i go home confirm very tired or look through problem solving... okays, i will write up till here!

Long, Lazy Days

damn today i am supposes to send my lappy to the rp it help desk to retreive my password, damn i think i will postpone it to tmr due to 'LAZY' and btw tmr i got wushu training in the morning so i can go straight to the it help desk. hahax i really hope that there will be no problem for my lap top man, i am worried indeed... Btw today need to study for UT, and i understand the topics when i read them carefully, and i could see the relationships in between the previous topic... it is important for me to understand the topic and equations as i would need to apply the comcepts in my exam...For mathematics module, i am all screwed up! FML ! damn i need to learn my maths after friday so today i must finish up my other modules revision.... damn it, i kinda busy....also, i went to topman to shop for clothes, the more i see it, the more i wanted to but it so badly, damn it is like a temptation to me... The clothes and shoes are so nice but however their XS size is still so big for me....cause they are all american-sized... hahahha, if i have they money, i would definetly shop clothes and shoes from there... okay i will write up till here, until next time!

Problems...

damn i forgot my password to my sch website and what now, i cannot even check my sch coming exams and doing revision for maths, damn i think i must make a trip to rp tmr and get me lap top all done and healthy for the upcoming exams... also i just have a new supplement in mind that i want to try and it is the 'HYDRO WHEY' by optimum nutrition... wow, it has wonders of benefits man, but i am not sure wether it really works well for me...from what i see, it has a huge amount of protein per scoop, 30g and it is only one single scoop... and it is the most purest form of protein isolates that ever manufactured in the industry... i heard that the flavours are also eye catching, i think they got super- charged strawberry huge and vanilla velocity and the other flavour i am not sure of.... i went on net to find the reviews of the product and majority say that its worth it.... damn the only main thing that it is 2 expensive to purchase 1lbs of 'hydro whey' and what if it is a 3.5lbs tub of hydro whey? it is gonna put a huge whole in my wallet... haiz... nevermind i can depend more on fresh food , they are just manufactured food, not much of use, just to aid me in my training... okays i will write up till here and besides i going off to do a revision on my science !

Unexpected.....

today i went out to tampines to look for cheap bermudas and in the end i got nothing cause they are 2 expensive...FYI they cost abt 26 to 49 bucks... so my dear! they are a ripped off, and btw money is hard to earned these days with thing increasing prices but the wages of ppl is still the same.... okay this is not the main topic that i want to talk abt... when i was abt to leave tampines, i was waiting for bus 67 at the bus interchange... and out of the blues, i saw eileen , lam yi lin and bryan going in the same bus as me... hahax i did not expect to meet them there... they are am old secondary classmates...btw damn i asked them what poly did they go to... ooohs they went to temasak polytechnic... thats something good to here, while bryan went to singapore polytechnic....It has been very long that i saw them or catch up with them, i think they has not changed alot, they friendly, still the same...i guess i have changed alot and they have not yet discovered, thats not necessary, i guess... okay i just want to be honest with my heart and myself... hey, lam yi lin, if u see this post, then good, it is for you , just nice! when i saw yi lin, i was shocked man, maybe because her eppaerance has changed or what i am not sure, however she is the same as last time, very quiet or maybe she does not know me well enough that she could talk more to me... i asked her alot of questions abt sch life but her answer ar damn short, wth... i am not trying to implying anythng here... she gives me a very fresh feeling ... i hope maybe i could meet up with her another to get to know mpre abt her as i did not do so in my high sch years... i did regret but its 2 late... hahah whatever ! it is reallt unexpected that i will meet her....hahahax......

Fanzi Quan (wushu traditional routine)

hahaha i guess today's wushu training was quite something, my leggs are damn wobbly rite now, i cant even walk up or down the stairs man, serious ah, need to have protein to let me recover... However despite the training being hard, i have finished one of my objective which is 2 finished learning the routine... and I DID IT MAN!!!:) hahax but there are still lots of thing to add in the routine like, movement directions, flavour, not 'used to it' movements and even the momentum of the routine.... Nevermind now i have to make sure that i must know the movements first....I am one step closer to it! Also today i went to talk abt working out with my rp wushu mates... Guess what? such a important basic that i do not even know until! Thats a shame and disgrace, both! I talked about exercises that build the most mass(muscle) and my friend just told me a fact, one would need to have a workout that mainly made up of compund movements and not isolation ones.... Damn i have graetly mistaken that isolation exercises can give the big muscles that i alsways wanted..... until now, i did made some improvements of being more 'toned' but my biceps were never big enough.... wow, i just wasted a large amount of time focusing on isolation exercises.... also i need to take time and learn the proper form of compound exercises like squarts and bend ever rows... however some compund exercises i alr knew how to do it in proper form like pull ups, deadlifts, bench press and push-ups....i guess i need more time to reconstrut my nutrition and my workout regimen... i am relieved i did not sign up for the gym that fast, if not all my money will be wasted... most of the compund exercises i cold do that at home for the time being as i alsogot not much money left for me to spend.... sianz ah today als very tired dun feel like doing anything else but to SLEEP, hahax but i still got science revision to do , dammit this is tiring and my UTs are approaching my way....anyway i will spend more time on revising my science and maths, woohooo! okays, i will write up till here! i will write more ost when i am free enough!

Training Tmr..........!

hey i am in the midst doing my science revision and i felt like writing a blog post man! haiz, so sianz i gotta get to bed early as i needa rise up early tmr for wushu training... Btw see if tmr they got bring the camera, i wan to snap more photos for training... A very shuai wushu post!!! wooohoo, today i just got my hands on OPTIMUM NUTRITION'S PRO COMPLEX WHEY PROTEIN ! hahax this is good stuff man, it has 8 different kinds of protein in it and it is 60g of protein per serving..... very shiok, anyway i haven started using it... I got the 4.6 ibs one, very big tub indeed.... hahax i have problem in my revision which is physics, damn it i never even studied the subject before except in my primary and lower secondary years... i totally forgotten them alll!!! NOOOOOOO! nevermind nothing is impossible when i have internet access at home:) I heard other interest groups are going for a camp tmr! wow, but sad to say that my wushu interest group do not seems to have, sad:( the gd thing is that i have more time to revise for my exams on the following week... (shows stress face) okay i guess i will write up till here, cya ya for the next time...

Strawberry Protein Shake !

hahax i guess i these few days, i am going for wushu and studying in home, thats alll... its gonna be damn bored but nevermind ah, what to do sia? I actually i yesterday thougth it would be good to see all the class mates in ECP but the whole trip was cancelled... I will not talk abt it as i said in the ealier post... But sad sia, i missed the opportunity of meeting up with them....Lalala, let me finish my whole course of antibotics and yeah, i am ready to make protein shakes... Especially strawberry flavour! woooohoooo i think it is goona be damn refreshing and tasty! anyway, next monday i think got training! haiz, something abt rp wushu team, i feel not so close as compared to BGSS bedok green wushu team.... Woah that give me motivation! but nevermind over time i will learn to adapt the changes made to my environment. Hah, i got really no time to workout as much when i am at sch, confirm busy wan:( okay i will stop writing up till here! bye , take it easy!

My Lovey Dovey

Damn today is a dman fucking spoil of mood.... Let me tell you y...Today after finishing from my wushu training session, i just got 5 msg to my phone, oh btw i just wanted to say that today i had a class outing to the east coast park.... Then msg start coming to my phone saying that the class outing suddenly change venue to jurong point and to watch movie... From no where, sice when did the class outing changed without telling me earlier... FTW, my friends start sending me msg saying that they will not be coming... Fuck sia, i alr meet goerge preparing to go to east coast park alr, then it fucking spoil my mood when i hear that there is a change of venue.....Damn FTW, i and george with his friend kai jie went to cause way point to eat pastamania...Hahahhaha something that i wanna say about the conversation is that we talk abt how fuck up our classmates turn out to be and i talked to him about relationships matter... I ask him to rank girls in our class.... I cant help but laughtwhen he do name the some names that i actually name.... Damn, i am damn tired now, bye ....going ah ma hose tmr!

Money...Money...Money

Money money where are u all at?? when u all are supposed to be in wallet waiting for me to spent u all. Haizz... when it comes to money, i am going to have a bad headache, damn they are so hard to get.... Futhermorei need them to survive. Even though i am in holidays period right now, i dare not underestimate that i do not need much money... First, class outing is a really big issue... When going out with friends, i need money to spend and the cost is never cheap...Hahax i just went to sing at k box wednesday and that alr cost me 12 bucks.... FTW, why the prices of everything is increasing and our salary is still the same... Also, i just bought a 100% gold standard whey protein(5lbs) for 102 bucks at GNC store... Woah, that fucking cost me a huge sum of money damn i also wanted to go on a healthy diet in conjusction with my weight training... Even going to the gym needs money, and i can bear to pay the amount of money... It cost 160 bucks for one year... Damn it is damn ex, i cant afford it... When it comes to my diet, i need to buy groceries, especially healthy one which costs more, but there are some things that are 2 expensive! such as packet salads.... I need to but things that are convenient as i need to have food going throught my body from time to time... HAiz sianzzzz, i really wanted to start my workout and diet regiment but seems i am lack of funds to do so.....Why is it so hard to get money, damn i need these few days i got to eat my meals at hoe to save more money.... In order for buying more groceries and gym admission fees, i am willing to save up.... I am scared that when i actually save up the money, i do not have enough time to go gym and train... I am afraid that even buying a week's supply of food will alr cost me a bomb in my wallet.... I finally know how is money hard to earn, they are so easy to spent but hard to get it back in the walllet.

First Time

Man, this is the first time having wushu during my Holidays... At the start, when wan to wake up very early, fucking tired sia, somemore i felt house like 8.55 am sia and guess what??? I am late for wushu... Woah today i learnt alot in fanzi quan, very tiring but also very promising... Then we went to have our lunch at cause way point, thought the food was good but i did not manage to have my fill, that means i am not full... Okay skip that topic, this friday going to east coast park to cycle with my friends and eat dinner there. It should be damn fun, it is alr the 3rd class outing and this shows how bonded our class is!!! HO HO HO! this has been the 6 or 7th week alr, time flies man... I really got to buck up alot on my modules, seems like i need to plan more time studying and guess what? i am spending my time here writing a blog post... HAhahhaha i hope that will not affect me much, tmr i will spent my time doing things that i haven got the time to do like buying things that i haven got the time to buy... My friend plan a hiking trip but do not know when to go??? Dammit, i cant wait to go hiking, it can test gow physically strong i am.... Maybe i will plan a trip to sentosa soon! Okay that enough, i will write up till here, until next time!

Another Day I wasted...

Today i plan to download all the 6p and study for my oming UTs but i think i have to shift this thing to tmr... I stay and rot at home, and went to visit my grandmother... Plus i got free dinner at her house. Damn my Exams are at around the corner man! i cant slack sia!!! AFter getting my salary for this month, i will use 160 bucks to join the gym near my huse for a year and i need more money to buy fresh foods stuffs... I got sick of eating outside food, even thought they are kinda nice to eat, but come on, they are fucking unhealthy... It is way more healthy to cook and eat at home.... Haiz, there is this 2 week holiday that will start this coing monday, plus tmr, I GOT WUSHU TRAINING, no rest for me.... MY class is planning the 3rd outing.... Sial lah!!!! They wan go east coast park! Funny they live so far , somemore wan to come east coast park to cycle and eat at the lagoon there!!!! Woah for me is okay de cause so near, i can even walk there! Also there is this OB class remedial coming very soon, the faci is leaving!!! NO!!!! He is my good role example... Such cool guy with big chest and biceps.... Damn sure my idol, needa learn from him! I feel it very funny when i say he so manly, then my friend say i gay!!! Fuck it, he is my role model not some kind of wife or what!!!!! Haiz, tmr i must try to learn my fanzi quan routine as much as i can, that is when i can put in the 'flavours' in my routine... I will try to beat all of them! Something just came out of my mind. I really need to visit my grandmother often, since she is bored.... Maybe if next saturday free for what, bring her go east coast walk at the beach areas there.... I will not make the same mistakes again.... I knew it is sometimes hard to get over something but nonetheless, i still must be strong.... Hahax, i still listening to DING DANG's song....woah..damn nice to listen especially CAI BU TOU....wah very nice!!!! There are still things in my mind that i cannot get over, it is a little awkard to say it out but, i can forget that matter no matter what i do... ANyway give my more time, i am sure that if i keep myself occupied, i sure get over it very fast...If i cant get over it, i will write a post on it!!!! i really hope i do not have to do it to such extent!

I Can't Guess

There are many things in life indeed that we cant just assume or guess. When the outcome is made know to you, you will just feel very depressed or somewhat maybe get a shock out of your whole entire life. There are countless things that i perfer not to know about the outcome. It just cant get off my mind. The truth is hard but i need to overcome it, i will not fall. These few days, i have been telling my friend that he has something that i will not have... This made him very curious but actually in my heart i am dieing to have this 'advantage' at my comand. I feel depressed man, nevermind i just concentrate on my workouts, wushu and my studies. Others will be put aside. FML!

FML!

woosh, i am back, i decided to write a short post today because i am bored from studying the OB module, damn once again LEO is down again, the system really suck to the core man, FTW... i cant even read my pre reading class materials, i can say for sure, 90 %, tmr i will be blur as fuck....Damn lets skip the topic, i have been thinking that should i put in the FINAL desicion that i should totally withdraw from wushu... IF the answer is yes, my next post title will be TALK BIG ONLY , NO ACTION DONE !!! wait, i have not make the decision yet, i just need a little more time before i make my desicion. damn i am very afraid that i will make the wrong desicion... I am planning to go polyclinics tmr, cause fuck it, i got fever with sore thoart:( damn my number one enemy !!! also these few days, i thought that i had to concentrate alot on my poly modules if not my grades will be constanly dropping, i want to go to a university... when i went to the talk session, i could sense the hungryness in each and every student and parent that they wanted to go to a university, damn this is keeping me very irrated cause they are all hungry for power!!! i am not shock but instead i am disgusted as some ppl that they can sacrifice anything to get to their goals. Tmr will be the opening of sch. sianz ah, have to wake up so fucking early. Plus tmr never go cca, i wil feel very bad for not going to cca. Damn, i guess this is a part and parcel of life. KAYs KAYs, i will write up till here, seeya another time!

So Fast

damn it has been quite some time that i write a post, well because i am 2 busy with my sch work and personnal life... Das to say that today, i am down with fever and it has been a troublesome experience for me. Damn, somemore next tuesday i nid to get ready for my Ut, damn the 6p, so much sia, i cant remember all sia. How? Futhermore i monday never train wushu cause i now seiously got no strenght left in me now. I am thinking of joining the gym at kampong chai chee cc, as i heard there is a one year membership, so i no need to go 2 far for gyming. But i heard that the membership fees is quite expensive sia. Haiz, tmr seems like i must go choing my revision for OB, if not confrim die wan sia. Just gonna write up till here, Bye!

Down To Earth

Damn, today is sunday and it has been a fruitless day for me. Except from a workout out i did, i did not read the pre-reading materials for my upcoming module, science. When i am up to facebook, i see ppl typing post like i have been studying the whole day, oh fuck my life, fml man! i am so demoralised by that. Tmr is a fresh wk but i only need to go sch for 2 days and the rest are holidays. i want to make good use of it for my wushu and studies. I gotta catch up from what i have been osing out. Damn tmr by be the 5th week of the semester, and very soon it will be the 6th wk alr.... Damn time flies, better not to go too close with my current classmates, if not when time comes, we are to seperate, that will be hard to do do man.... Better warn myself! Tmr will be a training day. I must learn finish my fanzi quan... It is a must-learn finish routine for me. Damn the routine has a lot of flowery moves but very little difficulty or arieal movements, anyway in overall i like the routine very much:) And next i will move on to shuang gou! Yeah! I hope tmr for sience, i will be contributing a little more, lady's luck is not always with me everytime. I got to get an A if not my module got very little A. Bye! Gotta go!

Screwed Up Day

Today is a screwed up day. Damn ass, i just make a fool of myself in class today... Haiz sianzzz.... Btw the module for today is organisational behavior. Wow, i should really admit that this is the first failitator that let me nervous when presenting. Damn why am i like that???? Screwed Up! I tell you, i will not be the same for my next presentation.... I really need to buck up alot in my modules... Damn sia, i seriously lagging up in my poly studies... Soon there will be holidays coming my way, i think i will be training very hard, then also need to study all the 6ps. Short post for today! I better be off writing my personal reflection.

Tedious

Today is vesak day or whatever... I am trying to spent most of my time recovering from the tedious life i had in poly life. Damn, i had alot of bad opinion about that. Damn, i really wanted back my high school life. Let me tell you the bad things about poly life, FYI i am in rp. Okay, first i hate about the RJ thing that i had to write in in every module. Thats not the main point, the main point is that if the RJ written by u is out of point or there is any english error or what shit in there, damn there goes your daily grade man! I had one module called Communication. The rj that i wrote, the facilitators thinks it is some kind of shit i am giving her. I feel like an big fuck idiot for writing that rj. Damn my communication are dropping, i need to fid a way to pull it up, if not later ah got big issue. Secondly, when sch ends, i still have to attend my IG. Okay, for the IG part, it is my own will to attend it and i wish that there are more training days for me to hone my skills for competition. Also the ppl in my IG is damn damn damn good, friendly, and most of all, humble and nice ppl, especially the former seniors, president and even the former president and vice president. They are all friendly and they encourage u to go for the better. But however the moment thta i stepped out of my class, i alr feel that i am half dead man, really sia, i feel that i am about to slp for 4 hours. But still i have to attend the IG. It is my fews years of hard work and i cannot bear to give it upon. NO, i will never give up, i wanted to saty to its end and see my fruit of labour and at that point of time i will be feeling damn damn damn shiok. Okay, it is not time to complain about sch life being tedious, but rather i had to set and focus my mind into the things that i do.Damn i miss y friends in high sch....must make an appointment with them!

I am at my Ends!

Today is labour day and now i am staying at home writing this post. Later i will be meeting min teck and the rest for a zi char feast.... For these few days i had alot of thoughts in my mind going on. About the girl rejecting me, that thing is alr long gone in my mind , so dont fret about it. Now i wanna talk about my studies grade in rp. Sad to say that my grades are dropping from bad to worst. I feel that my classmates do not even deserve an 'A' grade but she still get an 'A' grade. What is this? I felt that my poly facilitators loved to use 'favouritism' aka biased to grade people on thier work. Which i fucking hate that. My grades have been droppping and my dream to enter a university is one step futher from my reach. From now on, no more playing a fool around, i need to focuss my mnd and give a serious me in every module. It is a crucial time for me, i need to wake up now before it is too late. I hope the facilitators would change thier voew of me.... I want to get an 'A' grade so badly. For the wushu part, i have been to my second training in rp. I feel that ppl there are very friendly and they always welcome you no matter what. Now i am currently learning fanzi quan. It is a very fun routine to learn and i cant wait to master the taolu. I wish to compete IVP 2012 this year and i wanna win something. Btw, i still got a huge problem in JI BEN GONG as my legs could not keep straight. Btw, yesterday i get to know few wushu friends such as jonathan, xiang ting and timonty. Hahax they are all fun ppl to get along with. I wish that i could do more streching at home but i cant now. Beacause my leg is still pain. So far in my years os wushu, i do not have any long terms injury. I guess i am lucky enough to have say that. JUst beacuse i so long never touch wushu after i graduated from BGSS, i need to gain back the mometum real fast and catch up with the others. Okay i will stop writing here, hope both my studies and wushu will go smooth... Whatever the obstacles , i still have to face it no matter what. So that these could at least lighten my load and yeah! i could attend other problems in my life. Cya! stay strong, fighting!

I am Rejected And Dejected

Okay now i am feeling better by now if not y am i still having the mood to write this post. I got rejected by a girl in the first time of my life. I feel so horrible to have such a feeling but as i think over, it do not mean so much to me. I felt that it is just a stepping stone to a new chapter of life. By now i am feeling very funny of being rejected by a girl. What the fuck sia! I am supposed to be sad and by now i should be crying but what am i doing now? i am actually thinking it as a joke, bloody hell, am i a filrt or what? But i can granrantee i am not one of them.... OKay i have been in poly life for aleast one week now. I had liked a girl in my group and i asked for her number so that i could contact her. I actually hint her on that i actually had feeling for her. She told me that she had to come clear with me and she has a boyfriend in NS and that we could only be friends. I dun give a fuck! Just kidding, but not to lie to you, from the first time i saw this msg, i was feeling very pain in my heart and i felt that it is the end of my world. But when i woke up the next day and i began to think, actually it does not even mean much to me at all. It took me less than a day to forget about her.... WTF? i felt bad of myself for havingto forget her so fast. What kind of person i am? Damn! Actually since we cant get in a relationship, we still can be friends! Yah! i love that! I mean whats not meant to be yours, you cant snatch it from god's will. But the main topic is here! I want to avoid embaressment tmr when i see the girl. What the fuck shit, i am scared that she will take me for an fucking idiot! i hope not, life still have to carry on. Let me tell you of my plan tmr, i will talk to her personally and explain that i repect her desicion and i wanted to be good friend with her in the future. Seriously ah, get over with that and i will move on, i will finish what i am supposed to do at rp. I am afraid that tmr she does not wan to start a conversation with me as a friend. I wanted end this whole thing like nothing had just happened! I am really not affected by this, and i am worried i am not mature enough or what to having true love with a girl! By now i still feeling funny! hahahaahhahhahha......

Things are never the same for what i used to think at home. I used to think in my dreams that it is very simple to achieve something but when i meet smething in real life that it is hard for me to say it out. Let me tell u something of myself, i get really shywhen there are alot of ppl around me, i do not know why of a reason but i just cant put that away. Pls help me! i really wanted to tell someone of my feelings to her, but i am sure that i am raelly shy of telling it to her...this morning in the bus , i really thought of something that i wwnat to tell her, but when i really see her in person, i could not tell her anything, not even to stare in her eyes, i really hope that she would say me a question or 2.

Am i really out of my mind, i should be focusing on my dreams and goals, i got some unfinished buisiness here, ans i really want to finish it fast...i cant think of what to happen next but what i can think of now is that i am in a shy mode now.

Inside The Heart Of Rp

guess what? i am inside rp right now writing this post... All my team mates are out for lunch i guess, hmm i am waiting for my team mates to come, damn it, what took them so long to come?

I knew that i had to talk about poly life when i wrote this post, sounds very rubbish right? Ireally find poly life to be very interesting, but counted to be very tired as of to waking up in the morning at 5.30am, dam this is damn tiring for me. Whats the real thing? It is when the wushu IG starts, it will be even more taxing for me, i swear that i will defeat MH , no matter what, i need to get my place in the republic poly wushu team, i am very corncerned that some one that trained from MH who is studying in rp, like this i will be pulled down a standard...

I became more opened when i reached the poly life, i felt that i am more sociable than ever, it still bring back time when i was in my high school times, i find it even hard to talk to a girl maybe due to shyness, i am not really sure of it... I need to focus on my goals, i really cant fail, if not i will be at the losing end, i cant take my anger off MH, I will defeat them, but i am scared that i will fall, in the end that i am the wan that lost, i had nobody to rely on . I really hope that everything would be fine!

The Start Of Poly

tmr will be the day for the day 1 of my poly course and it is an official date... Damn, i got 5 modules for semester 1 and i cant wait to get into wushu IG, i want it fast, i want to train fast, i want to beat MH.... I guess i gotta start training harder and need to strech from now on.... Tmr will be the strat of my class at E26R, damn my class is a real dumb fuck ass shit, cause most of the ppl there only talk to thier own friends or the ppl they know, leaving me with like alone , got la i made freinds ah but u know, my class like not so bonded like i am in orientation team 2 or 3, i dun give it a fuck care abt it...I really hope that tmr the day itself will be smooth ah, i hope i understand all the things that the faci telling us.... I want to train harder, taking my leaning to a new level, but first i pray that i shoulfd meet no pros in the year 1 of wushu fresh man, if not competition will be very rough and tough for me, specially if the coach do not wan or have no interest to teach or what fuck, i dun know!

Lacking Off

These few days, i had very little time to work out man, and my nutritions is getter from bad to worse due to the hectic and busy life i had... I had no proper meals and even worse no workouts, but yesterday i did a triceps workout.... I need to think of something or should i say solutions in order to solve this problem.... Tmr is the last day of orientation and oooooh, damn it start sch so fast, i wish i had just one more week of holiday.... I really hope that i will get wushu IG real damn fast and sweet and i wanted to train as fast as possible.... But for my studies, come on how hard can bio medical be??? Actually it is not gonna be that easy, ahahah... okay i have started to train to sleep early and wake up early, no more becoming a nite owl! Okay thats for now, Bye!

I'm Awesome!

Hi there this is anthony here, i just came back from my orientation camp fews days ago, one word to describe it: Awesome!!!! however it is damn tired as it is consecutive days of cheering , playing and even making friends... Damn, i really miss the camp very much, and next monday is still orientation but it is more of a adminstrative stuffs like eating lunch with the mentors and all that kind of fucking bull shit stuff... Hahax i wonder what my course mates look like!!! i hope dun give me some kind of ugly china girls , so damn nonono! Btw i hope wushu interest group a should send me the invitation fast so that i can train and start working to my goals and dreams... Next monday need to bring lap top and damn it i hate to carry something heavy in my hands other than weight lifting... Hahax my first module is science,i found myself bonding with many people and good i am making signficant progress... Damn i really starting to feel the heat of poly life, the energy surges in me, i cant wait to see my mentors.... Something that have been troubling me is wushu, why they haven send me msg yet??????

Tuesday

Next tuesday i will going for my orientation camp in republic poly, damn i am damn nervous... Damn i hate to take bus 168 and 169, it roughly takes 1hrs 20 mins for me to reach rp, damn fuck sia, i need to wake up so early in the morning and what is the difference from my previous secondary life..... But i had no choice, my orientation period will be next week... Next friday is my junors competing in the group quanshu event, and i am going to toa payoh sports to support them... Tmr is the first day for ppl in singapore poly but mine is next tueday.... My friend went to shandong so i will be going the camp by myself , hope to make new friends... JUst now i have done packing my camps stuffs but there are things still to be packed tmr.... Hooo!! today is my last day of nite life, where i can stay up late nite to do stuffs, but after today i needa slp early.....

To be frank, i cant wait to wushu interest group in rp... I wanna put in my efforts inthere to achieve my targets... Damn i had alr planned everything alr, all i need is to carry out the plan... Bye until next time, btw i am bench press 35kg alr plus the bar i think will be 36kg....

It Is Either A Go Hard Or Go Home!

I had been to the wushu comp inter s sch yesterday... I had recently starting to hate martial house from a little to alot to much... Martial house is my former wushu academy that i trained in my sch days.... The reasons why i hate them is not becauseof my coachs that taught but the head coach and some other coach and it is starting to piss me off....My friend or should i say junior went to complete 4 duan boardsword yesterday and i felt that he should get a score of at least 8.10 and the judges give him 8.05, what the hell in the world is that.... May i could say that i am not a qualified and it is wrong for me to say that, even the current coach teaching my sch now alo say that he shoyuld get at least a score of 8.10 and above... Most of the judges there are from myformer wushu training centre... I should name them MH here then.... I saw a coach from MH which taught me last time, i dunno he is trying to avoid us or he super hate us.... Damn that wan reallt pissed me off that much... i hate that, MH seems to hate our sch that much, even last year me and my friends went to their training centre to train for the upcoming competition, they dun give a fuck abt us, i think maybe we too lousy or maybe we are nbot really close to them... I really hate that, seriously... But sincerly, i think those coaches that taught my sch are really good...

Damn i would wan to continue wushu when i advance to rp... I will be trainig traditional routines and completing with other poly and universites... My main target in NYP because they are taught by MH... NYP is strong in wushu but i will prove that i am the wan winning, i am no more the anthony they used to know....

I know that the journey will be a rough and tough wan but i will still wan to do it, in order to taste the feel of winning.... I will not stop until i get back my share! Wait for me ! MH, i will be back to get you all!

May you would say that i am talking big and boasting, waste time taking is a total uneffective, action speak louder than words! Yeah? Fuck it! I will be back to get You all!

Cheering!

Tmr i will be following my juniors to the wushu inter sch comp 2012 and i will be cheering them on... hahax tmr will only be 2 indidual events, one is b boys nan gun and the other i not sure... Hhahaax i fvourite event nan gun, which i completed during my sch days... Hahax i hope tmr will be a fun day and i will want to follow them until their ji ti quan is over... Bye for now!

Inter School Wushu Champioships 2012

Today i went to inter sch wushu championships 2012 along with best friends de xun and jing jie... Hahahx today was damn exciting as i went to the competition as an alumni member.... Woah first day of the competition alr got so many ppl compete.... Today competitors are jing guang chun kee for b boys nanquan, sean and ming wang for b boys changquan plus narzhan or c boys 5 duan nan quan..... Hahax the results are not really fantastic but i am really proud of them as they put up a very good fighting sprit, even tafter the competition, we were all happily chatting in the bus, or should i say mini bus... I went to the competition only as i wanted to continue wushu in my poly years and i really wanted to beat some ppl in terms of wushu.... I cant stand the cocky attitude of them and t is really getting on my nerves.... As usual the winner of b boys nan quan is bo wen.... i think he too powerful alr ....hahahax on the thursday i will be following my sch again, hahax io hoipe more alumni members will come... Good luck!

A New Term Gonna Start Soon!

Today is april fools day and it falls on a weekend! Another 9 more days , my rp orientation camp is gonna start soon... I am feeling abit kind of nervous and i dun know what is going to happen there! Today on bus, i experience a situation which i cant say that whether it is good or bad, but however it just makes me wanna say it out....When on the bus , a group of malay boys boarded the bus 69 and they started talking very loudly, and out of sudden one of them talked abt things on face book and they all memtioned naomi neo... Damn i guess that Naomi Neo is super famous and i am not sure whether these boys are her fans or hater, they are saying her name and laughing .,like nobodys buisiness.... Damn Naomi Neo, You are damn famous..... I got to know Naom,i Neo as ppl love to like her post or share her status or whatever what shit...Fuck it, her appearance is very good, wow but why everybody who is jealous of her, tries to post mean comments... I mean if you are jealous of some one, try to work harder in order to be better or in this case think positive and not post mean comment abt ppl...Haiz, these ppl ah, why wan like that!

New Haircut

Okay i just found a EVANSTYLE hair cut for men, and it is my ideal haircut... Okay i am going to get it cut by tommorrow and i hope that my head can support that kind of hair style.... I am so excited about the start of poly and i am dieing to start my campus life....Damn, i had to but some new clothes for poly , if not later i got little clothes to wear about.... Hair cut tmr Bye!!!!

The Perfectionist

Now is already 1.20 am i the morning and here i am writing this post.... Today i did not do any workout, except for some arm curls and 100 push ups! Hahax, i felt that i have to reconstruct my workout program and ever since my o levels period, i start to lose keeping track of what i eat and even what i workout out... I failed to keep track of what i have been doing so far... All these had just gone to waste.... But first, i need to have a very very very good nutrition plan, and that serves as the biggest obstacle for me right now, i have no idea what to add in my diet plan, and most importantly, i do not have the money to but the stuff that i wanted... Poor guy i am , i such a poor state! i guess the reason why i have very minimal muscle growth is that i had very inconsistent workouts, my diet sucks, my rest time is way too insuffiecient, and i overtrain my self... Not to worry about my form in the workout, i made sure that my form is flawless even when i lift heavy without a spotter..... Actually my strenght increased through the years and now i could do more that 40 push ups in a min.... i can curl up to 25kg and can bench press 32kg..... Hahah but no one gives a fuck about that man!

I have been watching dream high 2 recently! I really cant denied that the show was fanastic and vey interesting... something keep me very inferior is that all the actresses or actor are very tall vene at the same age as me, damn why i feel so inferior, because i am so short, fuck the world man, why do you have to put me in such a position where i had no self confidence in facing ppl, worrying that i will fail to be the person that i wanna be in life.... Why, putting me in such a state that even i hate myself!!!!! Damn i must admit that i am a perfectionist, my the day that i was borned, i can gurantee my perfectionist mindset never leave me for a seconds.... In whatever i do, i will always shoot for the highest point, the peak.... Even when playing games, i will always asked what the most powerful thing or characterr in the game, it makes me wanna be the most strongest, but that is always just day dreaming for me....

I will see through it as it goes and i knew that i need to stay strong no matter what!

Waking Up Love (2011)

Woah, this drama is fantastic !!! very good to watch, it has 40 episodes and the drama is the remake of taiwanese drama princess turn frog... However this is a mainland drama and the casts are roy chiu, tiffany tang yan, james wen, jones xu and qi wei.... A very good and touching drama to watch and i am watching it the second time already..... I love the character of liu xiao bei and xiang tian qi in the show, they make a very very good couple together.... Also this drama has alot of JJ lin's song, i also dun know why...

It's Time For Your Entertainment!

Hahax i have just hit achest workout and a while more i am gonna eat a post workout out meal...wait let me write a post first.... I wated finished a drama few days ago and i find it very interesting.... The title of the drama is ai qing shui xing le and it is a mainland drama.... Actually i dun really like things from mainland but, the drama is sooo nice, it had many of my favourite mainland actor and actress such as tiffany tang yan.... Aowwww, she is so cute and lovable in the drama and she make a heavenly match with roy chiu in the drama... They seems like a perfect couple:) Btw i am going to catch another mainland drama soon, it is called xuan yuan jian and the main cast are huge and tiffany tang yan... It is a waste that it did not start now, if not i will be downloading it rite now... It starts on 3 July 2012, damn by that time my poly alr starts, and i wonder i will have the time to watch drama??? The show is gonna be evry exciting and i really cant wait to watch it....Apart of that, maybe i should catch a upcoming korean drama too, its called love rain , casted by yoona and jang guen suk... It will be really exiting tooo, and it will be aired somewhere in May 2012.... In the mean time i should watch dream high 2!!!!
Really, tiffany tang yan is such a good actress and i really enjoy watching her show...

Mindset Failure

Mind set and failure are 2 different things but they are very related to ecah other in some ways.... Take cutting and bulking as an example. For cutting, u need to eat less food as possible as to get the defination and lose weight and for bulking it is the oppsosite... It requires to put on muscle mass not fat mass and the person has to go through a high calories diet.... Now the mindset comes into play, when in the cutting period, your mindset is to loss weight by eating less and working out more.... The period usually takes about 3-4months and your mindset is like already fixed and after the cutting period , u wanna bulk up and you had to eat more.... This is a big transition from one end to the another....In addition, your body got to adapt the changes and withstand the load and pressure... Most importantly, your mindset gotta make a change.... However,you think that by eating alot will make you fat and destroy your dream body but in actual fact that you had to eat in order to bulk up....this is one big issue and another problem is that over training.... This is something that is troubling me from the first day i started weight training... I could not overcome it, i went on the newspaper, internet , books t find solution to remedy it but to no avail.....

Mindset is very important for those who really wnat to suceed and move on... However people who have full control of thier mindset are the want who suceed in thier lives and ppl who are trying to conquer over thier mindset are ppl like me...
am trying out alot of new things in order to beteter expose myself to more thigns..... However my mindset, its pulling me down....

Today i had dropped down to failure and i could not even do a chest workout, due to overtraining... Its is very sad thing... What to do??????

Am I Even Progressing?

After been weight lifting for at least 1.5 years, i started when i was 15 years of age, and i always asked myself this question that am i even progressing? Am i woking towards my dream body or am i still at the same old point.....? Okay let me adress to this question now. The answer is that i am still in the same point,not improving anywhere, is it because i had alreasy hit my limites already? That should not be the case ... However i got a huge huge increase in strenght and muscle endurance, that is the only thing i got, i could now do 15 pull ups in 1 set, 40 pushups in less than 1 min, 20kg arm curl, 32kg bench press and many more... However i wanted to make some improvements in the shape of my body, putting too much stress is not too good, i ama ware of that but the fact is i am trying very hard to eat as much as i could, but still haven gain any weight yet! why why why, why is this happening to me??? I am not simply eating enough, damn it, how in the wold am i goig to increase my appetite??? I felt that i do not have enought imformation on what really is a bulkinh diet yet, i am skinny and light.... Damn it, i gotta have more workout inspiration, if not i will drop to failure... Soe one with fitness knowledge, PLs plsplspls pls helpme out!!!

Just Another Day

It has been a day today spending my day playing psp, espeially old sch games. Damn it i shoulf have done something more productive and besides the march holidays for secondary sch is coming.... I wanted to take my training to a new level where i can train with heavier weights and most importantly have a spotter to assist me.... Yesterday i went up on the internet and made a research on how much ppl can arm curl / biceps curl! PPl say they used 10kgs and some even said they used 40kg, from there i could now know where i stand... Okay heres mine, for my biceps curls i used 20 kg and for bench press i used 31kg... Damn mine is quite little, i m weak.... I need to train stronger... I made improvements in my pushups rep count, now i could do 40 pushups in less than 1 min, damn i just gotta trai harder and besides i am trying to do a planche push up.... later i am going to hit another chest workout!

I wonder if where all my classmates are in which poly ??? After not meeting them in a period of time, wonder how are they doing. Hah! just a quick post i am lazy to write futher...

Yo I M Back

I will be writing more post now as i will spet most of my time not going out...Now i am currently waiting for 17 april thats means the start of my school poly course... hearing from some of my poly friends, they say to start sch at 8.30 am, and that means i need to wake up as i early in the morning like secondary life. damn it, i hate that to wake up very early in the morning is like asking me to climb mount everest... Futhermore i wanted to join a cca when i reached poly and that means that i will be back very late and hd to be ready in the early morning... For the cca part, i wanted to join WUSHU , as i always liked mixed martial arts, but tooooo bad there is no mma in epublic poly... Damn i cant wait to start poly man.

Aside from poly stuff, i watched a fantastic movie which i liked very much, it is called ACT OF Valor, damn it , the movie is soooooo gooooood... First of all the movie is delicated to the ppl who die for their own country in war... I felt very touched at the end of the movie, and i felt inspired and felt a sense of great respect for ppl who died for their country... Apart from that, the movie is like counterstrike, very nice , the guns sounds very clear... I really like it and it is one of the few war movies that i ever like...

I am going to hit a chest workout later on and a biceps workout at nite, these few days i am always hungry alot....i ate really lots after my workout and i felt hungry not long ago. Does this got to do with my metabolism rate or wat!!!! i ate a cheat meal yesterday and today i got to do alot of catching up!!!! btw it is kinda hard to bulk up and losing weight is simple for me... taoday i will be benching 30kg, i will not go so heavy today!

Sad Life, low confidence

It has been a long time since i have wrote a post; okay first of all, Yo! long time no see man! hahax i have went throught alot in my life and i wanted to write it all down....Oh by the way i have been posted to republic poly to study biomedical science course man! I had no choice but to travel so far. I went on to complete my enrollment process and bought a lap top which i am using now to write this post... Hahax it cost me a huge sum of money just to purchase this lap top....

I have been thinking in my mind, FUCK THE WORLD man, how in the hell that i am so short when i am alr 18 yeard of age , damn i am thinking that everytime, everyday solutions to make myself grow taller and taller, my current height is 158cm now, damn fuck the world and i am 51 kg due to weight lifting, i am trying my best to pack on as much muscles as i could... BTw from my previous post i said i was bench pressing 22.5 kg or something, now i am bench pressing 32kg right now but i am dead worreid that the increasing weight of bench pressing will stunt my growth and make me look shorter and shorter...damn i am so afraid of that, now i would think twice abt bench pressing. I am trying to do as many streching exercises everday from now, i really need to grow tall damn it really affects my confidence and self esteem in the public at how i interacts with the others. I have been doing alot of chest training these few days and i am hitting them real hard and i hit my triceps too... I could see developments in them... which i am happy, but on the other hand, i am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so short short short short shot short man man man !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am angry, sad, dejected,and all the other sad feelings...

Pls god! if it would be my last wish in the wholre wide world, let me grow taller pls... I really really really really wanted to grow taller.Tmr going to watch a movie with freinds , damn i hate going out, i am really afraid of ppl saying something nasty abt my height...

Anthony Fighting!!!!!