Really Gotta Work Hard

I really dun want to let all my friends and most important myself down.....I really hated myself for not being able to excel in wushu at this period of time....I really wanted to give myself a hard punch in my own very face for not being hard working in wushu...I really do not have a training place to train myself...At home my parents and siblings were always at home and i cant train with my fullest concentration..They just kinda irrtated me cause they ruined my schecudle plan and i really need to find a new training place in order to train....I asked myself that where should i train, the answer is in my own school and i dun know where liao...I never had the chance that i could have peace in training and my family member would always disrupt me from doing it...I hate it...I detest it.....I never take a single glance at it....I wish that i could train everday at least 2 hours a day and that would help me alot...From now onward those who try to stop or disturb me from training peacefully, I will not have a second thought but to use force and agressive tone....I had no choice but to do that because my passion for wushu will never die out...I once tell myself to give it all up once and for all but i cant do that and it seems that it hurts me whenever i feel like giving up...It also hurts me that whenevr i cant do something, it hurts me...I pushes me to give up but i do not want that cruel option....I really hate life to be that way... I felt that i could not take setbacks anymore in life... I felt that i am at the end edge of my life.. The only thing that i can do in life now is to try to achieve what i can do now...I knew that it is going to take alot of money for me to go to training centre to train...So sad to say that i do not have alot of money now due to some family problems... I really hope that i could that by training myself , i still would be able to make something big of myself....I only could watch youtube videos and set as a good example for me to follow....Whether i do it the correct way or not ,,, I had not idea but i would try my very best to analysis the movement before trying it out... I am afraid that i would again...But i need to have the confidence now whether i like it or not and in whatever i do i wil have to just do my best and accept mistakes and do not ever ever ever give up the hope that is still left in me...

Really enjoy the time i had together i had with my friends and jiao lians....This is one of my most enjoyable competition even i am really really not satisfied with my performance in the competition...But i still like time time we work hard together and strive for the better... I would like to thank Ng ghim hwee, Heng jing jie,Jasper leo, Ang kah kheng and tan de xun for working hard all these time while we go for jiti quan together...One os the most important that i need to thank Jing Fu Jiao Lian for coaching us this period and i really learn alot from him...Last but not least i need to thank Guang Yao jiao lian for all his strict guidance even he scold us so badly during the training.....I really need to thank all this people for all the hard work they had put in all there while....

Xuan feng jiao

I made a little and mini improvements on my xuan feng jiao today...I roughly get the fast momentum of the whole thing and land on a dan die pu... I am not quite happy with myself because that in fact i am making only abit of improvements quite lately...I hate it when i cant kick fast in the midair while i was doing the kick....I really hope that i can do it really well and do a 360 extra rotation in the midair....If i could i am going out to set far and attain my dreams... I am very tired of many dissappointment of everytime i tried to improve my wushu skills...I made it clear that i wanted to really suceed in wushu and it is a important routine of my life....I would usually analysed how other professionals like alfred hsing and he jing de on youtube to see how they had done their wonderful zuan fend 360 and 720....I really love the way they do it and wish one day i could do one myself and no not i wish that i could do one because i must be able to do that in order to suceed in wushu. I really had one thing in mind that i hope guang yao jiao lian would help me cause i felt that i would need to train more often in order improve my self... After my prelim, i will go the thursday sch training and try ask for help.... hope that everthing go smoothly.....

I am tired

I am very tired to think what have i fail to do recently in life....I cant imagine myself drown in the flood of failure....I could not think that this would happen to me in life as i use to think it will only affect other people but now me.... I seems to have no choice... Even my family member could shed tears in front of me....I am always so negative in many ways and this is the fact if there were not any setbacks in my whole life until now, i wont be nagative... I would rather be happy and smile everytime....The problem is that i cant hide my emotions from people around me...They would usually know whether am i happy or not....I cant seems to run away from set backs in life... I have to face it....one day i would just fall while fighting the battle all alone....I will try to fight but whether will i make it anot, i have really no idea...In my wushu life, i hated to be lousy... I wanted to do something that my friends cant.. I wanted to carve future in there but i dont seems to make any signficant improvements...I got to do 400 situps everynight 50 push ups and 100 'bei ji' just to let myself stay in good condition cause not is my exam periods while i have not much time to stay focus on wushu...All the efforts i put in are just like giving myself more army rations to eat in the war... All i could do is to take risks and hope then i will not fall in these battle. I hope to suceed but i cannot accept the setback and failure in front of me... I now realise that i not only to have tackle my wushu and studies but also families problem...It seems that problems coming right after one another is countlesss... i had to put myself in my own mind to think that whether am i doing the right thing or not... There is a large dispute among my family members and relatives... some times i wanted to go to a place to calm myself down and work on my dreams and tagets rather than facing all these things that will only anger me... My self now feel with despair, agony and hatred that i vow to make my targets and goals come real and help those now are in need...i promise

Please dont let me fall again

I felt that today was an dead end for me. I felt very tired of myself and i really think that no one in this whole wide world understand me at all.....Only me myself know myself best...I am at the lost in direction right now....I dun know what to do and what am i thinking after all the set back in life that i am very afraid to fail... I came to think that even my family members do not trust me at all. I always hated people to treat me like a joke....I knew that trying my best is a good thing but after all that failing becomes an option to me which i hated tooo much.....I had no one in this world to share this common goal with me....Everyone i met it seems so different compared to me.... I felt very sad , tired and devastated by this.. I really dun know when is the time that i will come back to my owns senses and cast away all set backs in life and suceed as a good person in life......I got nothing in life to boast about... people friends and other team mates have but i do not have..... Its my first time seeing my mother cry so hard when i told her about my situation... I did not mean to make her cry but i have no chhoice but to tell.. I felt that some things it is better to keep that in oneself better than to tell other people.... I am very sad but i still have to keep on my life and try to achieve my goals the other rest wait until i achieve my goals then talk and think about it.

The story Of a girl (in my school)

I felt so like funny feeling that i talk about this girl. Today i went sch for geography prelim exam and went very early to sch to study with my 2 of my best friends dominic and shi hsiang... We were all revising very seriously and later i started off by talking about our sch life and then dominic talked into targets and goals. Finally he came to a point that about our love life in sch......All the 3 of us know exactly who each other likes....Myface immediately turned red caused i dun know what to say but i just wanted to carry on the conversation with them but when i seriously think that when they mention the to me that i like hung shen.... I was like so nervous not because i liked her but i only treated her as a normal friend in sch but my friends kept saying that i and her are like one big differences... I began to think what the difference is and they said that hung shen is a very open girl who loves to makes around and have very high hopes of herself....sounds like very civilised and high class right but i do not understand that why i had to face such things in life that i am so different from her. They say i am not so civilised person casue of the environment i mixed around in and i always have a target or goals that i always long to achieved...... I was like so sad .... lol

random pics in wushu competition 2011 inter sch

Xuan Feng Jiao

Haiz....so sianz, still cannot do a proper xuan feng jiao landing with the foot i am icking and i am feeling very miserable cause it really hurt my heart that if i cant do it.... I usually think of it and it makes me very inferior......I am so sad i dun know what to do anymore.....I really wanted to improve my xuan feng tui but i seems to fail everytime or sometimes not up to my expertations.....So how??? I also dun know leh.... But at least i now can do a yuan di wai bai lian and land in a ma bu.....i think that it is just a miracle that i actually can do that but my main focus is on xuan feng tui, with out that alot of tao lu i cannot do well, i really wan to do well in that but i have to try....If 10 times i fail, i try 100 times, if still cannot, i try 1000 times until i can get it over. I will not give up until i get it..... I have been seeing those wushu experts doing a xuan feng tui, i think they like very relax relax wan then also can do a perfect xuan feng tui leh , i so ping wan, but still cannot do, i always jump up in the air then so fast drop down.....I wonder my leg how to kick fast in the midair and land in a perfect mabu????? I also wonder how to stay in the air so long ah?????I just do not understand the theory.....Haiz sianzzzzzz...........

Ramdom pics about me and my friends

This are just random pics only...........Its juz me and mmy friends
Haha yesterday go training but never train alot only trained nandao cause gotta improve it alot.......

A long day in sch

I had a long day in sch today, a usual u might think that i am training for wushu but actually i am studying for my prelims few weeks later....so bored feel like taking my training attire and go training.....but i today come to sch and came across a girl which i do not really know her much but at least know her abit lah.....At the time my mind is filled with problems and were thinking how to crack a solution into it and i were not concentrating on where i was walking....I knew myself very much than when i am feeling stress of something that i would usually get very very angry and when morning i came across this girl but i did not notice her until my friend called me... I was like oh my gosh that i did not say a hello to her.....Anyway she was like ingorning me lah....I did not want to talk to her at that time was that i was afraid i would vent my anger to her...Later she would hate me .......Actually speaking from my mind i really cannot bring myself to this girl that when everytime i met her, i got nothing to say but only staring at her.....I knew that i do not like her but still like her as a friend but y i cannot communciate with her leh.....Everytime that our conversation only last about at most 2 mins then no more......i also dun know y??????????

By the way i took a few shots of my new nandao that i have been looking forward to see... Not really clear cause i camera lousy wan.....looks a bit girly girly cause got pink colour...hahax

Finally shocked out of my life

Haha i think this was a few weeks back when i were still going for sch wushu training....Guang yao jiao lian call the usual group of us and told us that martial house will be organising a 7 day wushu training trip to bejing sports sch i think.....not sure and jiao lian gave us the ressponce form.....i was so excited that i finally had a opportunity to see whats training in china like but i was afraid of my parents decision that they might not let me go for the trip.....The trip like cost around 2000 dollar plus, but now i trying to save up for the trip but go on that day i dun know lah.....I think that this is the first time in my life going to beijing to train and i think down there got very intensive training....sure wan wat if not y jiao lian say down there got alot of talents like jet li, wu di.....i was so happy about the trip is oraganised in the mid december so that i can have a chance to go there.....My friends haven decided yet but i wan to go but if my friends not going then i alone liao leh......Every time i always alone wan like a stupid loner who does everything himself.....But any way i kinda too happy that i took pic of the consent form and only a small part of it.....

NanDao

Today after sch i and min teck went to yi fong sports equipments shop to cause i wan to purchase a nandao for myself. Haha today was my first time going to yi fong i was like 'da kai yan jian' haha i and min teck went to the arcade to see people playing maximum tune and we beagn talking that how many people would waste their money on arcade playing, i agree to that but i think it is okay that playing for leisure in arcade is okay wan but if one person go there and get addicted then the person got problem liao....I think i had a fun time today cause min teck and i sang songs on the bus 197...... i began to rap music like airplanes, billionair, friend and many more.... cant mention it.... I usually talk to him about english music. We both have a commen goal in music that is only listen to new songs and not the old wan......old songs we delete...hahaha sounds lke very wad right!!!!!!! hahah i had a lot of fun in music and love to hear rapping music by artist like travis mccoy....haha but i also had a hard time getting use to my new nandao.... i cant believe that it is quite heavy and i cant put my maximum speed and power into it.....after i warp my nandao with the pink grip, then i wan to post a picture of it.... i think it would be nice......hahahah..........still so sad that cannot focus now in wushu but now on studies........

PLUS.PLUS

plus i next tuesday, going to make my way to yi fong to get a new nandao cause all the nandao in my sch is all super rusty and very heavy...So hard to train with that.....anyway i am going to get a super super super super super light nandao that is suitable for me... I wanted to try to find such nandao... As my exam is coming, i need to stay at home to train and cannot train at sch, therefore train at only community centre, at home when i nah the time...... Maybe i will make a come back right after my exams.....

Hey i think today like than pose pose out this picture cause it had been a while since of 2010 inter sch wushu competition, and i found this picture on face book so i wanted to upload it on my blog .... i dun wan to lose all these pics cause they will stay in my memories in my whole life time. This pice is the cool zhenghua sec ji ti quan members plus some i not sure, i think is mjc people... And there is guang yao jiao lian with his bright and cheerful smile... ....:)

A LOST MEMORIES

hahaha thanks to jing jie ... i got this from his face book profile and was shocked.... Hahaha we all looking so sweatie and utidy... but hahah there is jingfu and guangyao jiao lian....lucky the photo got them cause it is one lost memmories

Still Back On SChool

heheh (a smile on my face) i kinda have to go sch on today, very boring leh... hahaha i had been looking forward on finishing my n levels fater the better.... Because of n levels i cant concentrate and focus on my training.. But nevermind i am doing it all for once, wish i had a good result that could promote me to sec 5.... hehe btw i abit old fashion leh i now start to fackbooking cause i last time lazy to create account then now i create liao but have very little friends... Hahaha i face book got some of my jiao lians wan...haha it kinda feeling very good to see that people getting interconnected with each other...

i have got news my my old wushu teacher in charge that she is selecting me for the sch's oscar awards this year...haha i really hope that i could win this time round... i wanna make my sec 4 normal acedemic cohort proud.......so every one pls wish me the best of luck

Heh, now i have a gather up all my thinking and thoughts and also feelings. I finally understand that i really not suitable for jing sai dao(board sword)routine and also not suited for any changquan style routines..... I had been thinking that i really lack for flexibility, quickness and able to do gao nandu movements in order to meet up the standard of these routines. But i really like the changquan style as it is extremely beautiful and elegant... But still no poing, i really inclined to the southern style and i think there is no turning back any more.... actually the reason why i had been training in wushu southern styles had many tragedies behind it... but still now i had learnt to treasure it and not letting it go away. What guang yao jiao lian say is correct, i do not have the style to train futher more in the jing sai dao routine....instead guang yao jiao lian is so good that he knows that i do not like nandao....OMG he knows what am i thinking. I told me the facts, i had no choice but to accepted it and improve it futher. i am scared of failing. The reason behing why i wanted to learn jing sai dao cause i will never forget that my wushu idol is still zhao qing jian and it will never change.

BUSY

Today gotta a little time to post a short post, today was as per usual in sch, did not happen many things but tmr is the next wushu training, i was just like too bored to go cause, i knew that improvement in that was a hard thing to do... i told myself that if i am not ready, next year i wont be going fo competition, i rather train one more year than to waste my time in the competition ground knowing that i stand a little chance.....Anyway in case tmr i will be late cause got some lessons in the afternoon......Really got no time to think about love life in sch cause so busy that i only now concentrate on my studies and wushu.....Way it go.....way it go..... i must not give up and need to move futher and futher.... I wanna post some picture of my wushu idols like zhao qing jian, jet li, yuen wen qing, liu hai po and some other more..hhahahah.....

A Rough Day

Today i had my n levels oral exam in the sch hall... i was sooooo nervous but still i kept a smile on my face....(which i always do).... The topic wasnt really that easy but i think i probably can pass wan. The examinators or friendly towards me man...... After oral went out of hall and i saw my friend jing jie and he told me got 'surprise' meeting for all the wushu captains and vice captains..... i was free at that time so i went to accompany them with the new teacher in charge for our sch wushu. I really hate to mention that after sec 4 which is this year, i hated to step down as a sch team vice-captain and concentrate on my studies.... I wish that i could stay in that foever...sounds unrealistic... I felt that i down there like extra as all the new teachers in charge for wushu do not welcome me to go for training... I was like very sad and angry..... One of the teacher even told me off in a sacartic manner that not to train anymore.... I told her that i always treated wushu is part of my piorty, i cannot give it up, and if i do, the whole game has ended. I told the teachers that i wanted to have another opportunity to compete in the next years 2011 inter sch wushu championships, but she was like kinda ignoring me leh.....in my mind i thinking...what the hell man... Thats was really something very annoying and make me feel angry. But after i rethink maybe for next year competition, i may not be going as i think that i am not ready for the competition... i really need to honed my skills to perfection in order to stand out a better chance.... I once made a promise that i would try me best to excel in wushu....

hiya , i am now in a lost, i gotta make a decision on how my life works on. In my years of living, i had trained nearly 4 years of wushu since i was 12. I merly didi not managed to see much improvements on myself. Yesterday, i asked myself sincerely y i did not show improvements. By thinking all the time i did not improvement, tears flowed down my cheeks. I knew that i am not crying but it was a natural reaction that tears would come out of my eyes. I had a great passion for that sport and i usually tried my best for that sport. But sometimes, when i put my heart and soul into wushu, i sometimes would ask myself whether that i should be there in the first place. I almost wanted to give up yesterday but after much consideration i wanted to continue but i was in low sprit. I felt that i could not excel even though i tried my best. I talked to 2 of my seniors yesterday on msn on how to improve on wushu. They both said the same thing, they said smart training. I was like huh that wan is what...........I made a promise that i would excel in wushu one day... I did not know until my teacher told me that i was too obsessed in training. I learnt that smart training includes hard work , disicipline and need to learn from mistakes... Yesterday was quite a sad day for me, i think so hard and asked myself to force the most sincere and thruthful answer. I thought that it was something could be achieved by me but it is knida diffucult. No matter how difficult it was, my seniors told me it all depends on how i faced it....but i was afraid i would fail again...... i always said this, what should i do, what should i do?......... so sad that this year cannot compete in group cause i am one of thje eldest in the sch team..... Jiao lian so busy training the ji ti quan , like no time for my individual routines... I need to train my self i knew it.... to be indepedent.......

hey today got got my pictures for my food and nutrition subjects... Hahah that the food i cooked myself for my n level coursework. It looks nice only and taste not good...lol but nevermind lah look good can liao... still got theory to do man, a lot leh...somemore need to pass up on the 19 on monday...

Evan Taubanfeld

He looks cool right??? heheh in love with his songs man.....

Hey today was a not bad day. I managed to revise my work. haha today i got news songs from friend man. Finally i got EVAN TAUBENFELD new ablum, the newest one haha...the ablum title is called 'welcome to the blacklist club' yeah but it sounds abit like JLS new singles man. I dammn love all the songs in the ablum. All the songs are cool and emo wan. very nice to listen. here is his ablum art and i think i would like to share it cause it very nice:

Today as usual, it was a tiring day. i am at the sch com lab doing my own stuff..hahahx sounds fun right.... for now that i thought that today so sian..leh. today few of my friends were taking the oral national examintation. i was so worried as mine is coming very soon.Today my chemistry teacher were like scolding the whole class...i down there like doing my own things and not caring.It is ver annoying to hear her everytime say that.....

Today i also had a very meaningful conversation with my friend in class. We were talking all about the coming YOG where my form teacher choose 2 persons to go for that event. We taiked about all the lame staff and finally came to a point that the subject is' what makes a good athlete leh...?' We were saying that, while my friend challenged me saying that knowing all the sports news in singapore. He said so many but i only know about wushu news and some other wan like scoccer, table tenis and some other more. My friend said so many but i had few. Even though that i knew that my friend was insulting me of being a poor athlete, i had very less general knowledge on other spoorts. I seldom read the newspaper as it is very boring. When i ended the conversation with him, i re think the main topic of what makes up a good sport athlete. I knew that i am being insulted lightly, but i really asked my self this question that am i a good athlete....Hah nevermind but i always had the chance to tell my feeling out here. I really trying my best to train to the best and prove it to my family and friends. I always hated them for saying me that i could not achieve something. I hated that feeling that someone is like looking down on me..

my BIG dreams

All there while long , i have been wanting to say my dreams kept long in my heart. I had this long dream of becoming a singapore national athlete of wushu.I think that it is very hard to achieve for me due to my quite low standard in wushu.And i am left with not many time to train for competition. That is a dream that worries me at the same time.This year i am also taking my national exemaination, so i have not much time to train harder.This big dream i had seems to be so far from me. I never think that i had a chance to get into the elite team of singapore. I really had a buring passion for that, but i cant seems to improve that much.But the most important thing of all, i did not give up. i knew in my mind that i had to fight this battle till the end and if halfway i gave up, the game has ended.Nowadays, competiton amoung other school and even school team mates is tough.I gotta go for it.WHAT SHOULD I DO TO ACHIEVE MY BIG DREAM.......? I feel that i am lost and felt helpless. WHAT SHOULD I DO TO ACHIEVE MY BIG DREAM.....?

Y.O.U.T.H Day

Hahax....today was a holiday on youth day.But anyway i still need to do my sch work cause got so much to do until like wan to die leh. But still, still got time to chatt with my friends on msn. One thing that i hate about today was that today sch wushu training was cancelled bacause of youth day holiday and i wanted to train so badly....some more i told my jiao lian last thursday my sch got training sch today...OMG!!! how could i forget such an important day. i think it is mainly of the amouth of sch work day by day. I just picked up my phone to msg to tell her sorry...however i missed todays training opportunity. still gotta improve jing sai dao routine!:) As usual i would usually train myself at home as i am always alone. Gotta train more harder.

Hey today was an unlucky day as i had a quarrel with one of my family members regarding on my school matters. when it comes to sch matters i hated to dicuss that with my family member and relatives. They would usually say that i am the 'black sheep' of my whole family as my results compared to all my other cousins were a big difference. OMG! i am so upset by that. I hated when my father or mother compared me to my other cousins and even my elder brother. I would usually say that i am myself and not other people. I hated this so much since i was sec 1. Even sch friends are much more different than my primary sch friends. I wonder when my parents will fully understand me. I felt that my parent do not understand me enough when i grow older, they are always telling me same things that i heard many times. They do not understand the problems that i faced in school.0uch!!! it hurts........I had never come across in my life to see that my parents so angry about me when it comes to sch matters....Even my father asked me to give up on wushu but i said i could not...when it comes to wushu, my passion for that sport is too strong. I am willing to give up most of my time for that and now my father asked me to stop suddenly.I could not accept it but pleaded him. He then agreed but in one condition. He said i would need to produce good results and he will not interfere in my life. I immediately agreed to that but when i am thinking about it, i felt that it is not that simple to concentrate both on study and wushu. Its is going to be a rough journey, and i knew it long ago....haha today quite sad cause i got scolded by my family members for not concentrating on school matters.....but nevermind still gotta work hard enough for my national exam and 2011 national inter-school wushu championships..... yay! i felt much better after saying my feelings and thoght in my hearts.....Eruka....

Hey back on wushu, hey any the way pls bear with me for keep on telling all my wushu life. Next tueday is my eng oral exam, i very nervous leh. Back to subject, got alot of things to say about wushu. hahax:) I really wanna work hard on wushu but my father kinda objects with it. He wanted me to pay more attention to my studies but when everytime i talked to him about this issues, we will always quarrel. I am disencouraged by this man. My other wushu friends have parents supporting time in competitions but i had none who supported me in wushu except for my formal cca teacher-in-charge and my formal coach. I really wanted to thank my formal coach very much for all the battles we fought together and the extra time he put in to help me during competition times. All his effort will not go to a waste, instead i will continue to work hard in my wushu life and also my daily life. If ever i had the chance to reverse time, i will go back to the time where my former wushu coach is around and i will cherish all the good times with him. It is so sad to see my former wushu coach having a career switch but i am also happy in the sense that my former wushu coach's effort didi not put into a waste. During my time with him, I learn many useful things and morals from him. He teaches us with patience. My former wushu coach is a very humble person as he would also spent extra time with me and my school team mates revising our routines. sometimes we shared jokes, that was one happy and joyous memory i ever had. i really thank my former wushu coach very much.

My Life

I had just created my blog today, as it seems that i am abit outdated and old fashion.But nevermind la. I created this blog mainly to tell my life as a student and also wanted to share it with my friends, seniors, teachers and coaches.I am currently learning and training wushu as part of my life. I dearly love that sport as it enables me to learn new things and keep fit at the same time.Hahax....I usually spent most of my time practicing wushu whether at sch, community centre or even at home cause i strongly belived that constant practicing is the road to sucess. This is told to me by a senior in my sch. But on to today, it does not seems to be great cause i am always at home alone. Its kinda boring as my parents were always at work. Sianzz....nothing to do but always studying and playing psp.

In my wushu life, i am currently learning finish my jing sai dao.As my main taolu is nanquan,nangun and nandao. Jing sai dao is kinda interesting for me as i knew that routine when i was sec 1. By the way, i think during last monday, my wushu coach said that i am not suitable for learning jing sai jian cause i very stiff.....hahax i agreed to that i am very stiff....i also dun know y, i felt very sad of myself as jian is one of my most favourite weapon in wushu. So no choice lah, i need to give up on that lor. Anyway nevermind, dao also good leh, the xuan feng chang dao very hard to do.hehehe... still practicing on how to do.